What would happen if a bacterium were whale-sized?

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/11/16/what-would-happen-if-a-bacterium-were-whale-sized.html

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One less thing to worry about. Hurray.

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But what if was large enough to swallow a starship?

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I’m not sure “Moby Diphtheriae” would be much of an improvement in terms of readability.

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Anyone else kinda…hate that “noodle-person” style of animation that is getting more prominent on youtube?

Specifically, the arms and legs really move like noodles…and everything moves weird and creepy.

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Or, for some really rather excellent 1926 scientific prose, here’s J. B. S. Haldane on the same topic:

“A horse splashes” … shudders …

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What if a virus was human sized?

image

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Then we would need a ginormous bottle of 409!

Bleach.

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In theory a bacteria could be as big as a whale, it would just have to be completely flat, like an enormous plastic bag.

Screen Shot 2020-11-16 at 4.58.28 PM

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A bleached whale :slight_smile:

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Could you imagine how large my intestinal tract would need to be?

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A bit like these:

Yeah pretty much. It’s of course completely impractical for an organism but not impossible…

Also the honey mushroom is one big organism spread across the forest floor making it the largest life form on earth.

Which is Quite Interesting.

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