What would happen if beachgoers were as lax about sharks as they are about coronavirus? Colbert shows us!

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/05/06/what-would-happen-if-beachgoer.html




Shark is offended by this analogy.


Well, also the fact that Trumpvirus has killed more Americans than sharks have killed people over the entire history of the Earth.


Easy. Fat, lazy sharks. Can’t have that, now, can we?


Oh my God, Clara! You get to have fun, someone far away dies …

I’ve seen this movie before!

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ok this is bugging me. I know i remember this plotline “press a button, it kills someone far away, someone you don’t know” from The Twilight Zone.

But the only reference I see online is from the 1986 reboot. I’ve never seen those, and I remember it being in black and white and very much of that era. I can’t find reference to this original 1959-series show.

Complicating matters, it seems that the whole The Box idea is based on a Richard Matheson short story. Matheson’s stories were used for dozens of Twilight Zone stories from the Rod Serling years. BUT this Matheson story is said to be from 1970, too late to be a Serling era show.

I’m pretty damn sure i didn’t watch it in color; I can’t get into any modern-Twilight Zone that doesn’t have the Serling look and feel. So i must have seen it from the Serling-era original.

But that’s a paradox since the short story was published later, and no Serling-era episode seems to exist.

Maybe I’m in…The Twilight Zone. Or else i’m in the Mandela-Effect Zone and I really watched an in-color 80s Twilight Zone somehow.

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you know, a lot of the old classic SNL doesn’t hold up, but some of it was really just fun, like Land Shark. They wouldn’t do that today, everything is to formula-ized it seems.

Larraine Newman’s use of her arms in this bit is hilarious.


Most SNL skits from any era don’t hold up, either because they were only marginally funny to begin with or because they were too topical to become timeless. The ones that fare the test of time best are the ones that just go for “silly.”


I like to extend the analogy to, say, pollution. Another thing that people don’t give a toss about because it mostly doesn’t kill them (at least, not on the timescales most people are able to work with).

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I dunno. Amazon Prime made the entire 1st season available a couple years ago. I watched and thought it was pretty damn hysterical. My big takeaway, tough, was that the SNL of today would NEVER get away with the stuff they did back then.

It could be a mental mash-up. The movie version of the short story was called The Box, and there was an episode of The Twilight Zone called:

Different theme, but it could be part of the confusion. :thinking:

Electronic voting for Repubs in the US? Except that it kills you, or some of your family members, or several of your neighbors at some point (like in the next few months).

I for one don’t buy into msm narrative. Shark attack numbers are inflated. When they do happen, it’s in densely populated areas. Guess what else we have in those areas? 5G. But I’m sure that’s just a coincidence lol. If people weren’t so brainwashed they would understand that millimeter wave is the resonant frequency of shark amygdala. It was purposely designed to make them aggressive. Wrap your hive mind around that if you can. Deep state wants you out of the water so you don’t see the weather generator domes being built by Bill Gates. His population control plans will come to fruition soon. Go ahead and laugh. You won’t be laughing when a great white berserker comes flying through your window. You’ll wish you had paid more respect to president Trump, the only man who could’ve helped you. #5gsharknado #jawid19

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Seeing this:

In “The New Twilight Zone” episode, the couple even tries taking the box apart, only to find that it has no mechanism inside.

makes me certain I didn’t see it on The New Twilight Zone. No one tried to open the box. I’m not sure it was even a couple in what I saw.

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He forgot a key character:

Could it be The Outer Limits? The episode “Don’t Open Till Doomsday” also features a box:

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your having a similar time remembering as I am with burgess meredith…


lol, no, my memory is pretty specific. There’s a box, with a button, and if you press it “someone will die, someone far away, someone you don’t know” and that person that will die is a murderer. And they will get (I think) $20,000 for pressing it. In the '86 version looks like its $200,000 which makes me think it was updated for inflation. Or the $20K version doesn’t exist and I back-adjusted for inflation when I made up the Rod Serling version.

I did look around Outer Limits episodes to see if there was one like it but I know it wasn’t an hour long.

I remember that one! Where he says “You’re gonna eat lightnin’ and you’re gonna crap thunder!”

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