These heat maps are massively flawed, in that there is no way to distinguish the armpit. I will involuntarily / reflexively punch anyone who touches my pits. No joke.
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Am I missing something? It doesn’t seem to specify what you’re being touched with.
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this is all true unless you know the secret creeper passwords.
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And he cut the shit out of the index finger in the past sometime, too. Dammit, get him a pair of gloves.
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I wondered when Yang from RWBY was going to show up, but in fairness the study was only conducted on people whose full-body tattoos invited tracing and a variety of straightedges. No? The graphic rendition of the data could’ve pointed a way forward better, then. Kata for people who otherwise get to be uncomfortable all day, or something.
If you are trying to get someone’s attention and they are ignoring you, cup their elbow. I’ve never seen it fail.
You could poke them in the eye or grab their butt but the elbow isn’t even as invasive as the shoulder or hand, more polite than a poke anywhere and short of screaming “Where the fuck do you want me to put this hot dish!?”* it’s the most politely invasive touch I can conceive.
*Or, y’know, whatever the situation warrants
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The wet-willie works too.
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I have had many, many waitresses call me hun. And I’m pretty sure if I put a hand on their shoulder I would have lost a finger. Please, thank you, and Can I Get That For You were the only acceptable responses.
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Dude, it’s a Secret Creeper Password. You’re not supposed to understand.
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When waitstaff call me “hun”, I’ve found that banging the hilt of my sabre on the table and shouting “We’ll show The Kaiser what for!” is sufficient to restore a sense of harmonious dining.
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Funny, the other night I was out with some friends on a birthday bash, I put my hand on his inner thigh, and asked, “what should I get you to drink, sugar tits? (It may have been sweetie tits, but I’m sticking with sugar)”. The look of horror on his face was priceless.
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“I am bloody well not a Hun!! I fought in the British Navy with Lord Nelson!”
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You’re going to give my inner pedant an aneurysm.
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Oops 
Honest mistake.
Better?
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I tend to go with whatever the culture dictates when I travel, but some cultures are a bit more touchy feely than others. In Myanmar, guys often walk down the street together holding hands with interlocked fingers, or put their hand on the other guy’s thigh when sitting next to someone and talking with them. I went along with it and kept a poker face, but the western guys I was with thought it was funny.
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