[quote=“TobinL, post:17, topic:63122”]WTF are people so lazy/stupid they can’t you know cut up a lemon, lime, orange, strawberry, whatever and do it themselves?[/quote]Well, then you’d have to plan ahead. In this case the customer can be reasonably assured that the asparagus has already been sitting around in the water for a couple of hours, thus suitably infusing it. Or something.
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I made the mistake of trying that one time in the early 90’s. Do. Not. Want.
@Missy_Pants: Reinforcing my nearly inexplicable aversion to all things spa-like, you are.
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To be fair, it was a clean bucket, reserved for the making of spa water, but we did use the water out of the mop sink faucet. 
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They sell tiny bottles of homeopathic water that has only the “memory” of having something in it, so having an actual vegetable in it seems like an improvement. And yes, the Whole Foods executives are laughing at their customers in contempt.
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There was a huge trend for a while (it might be still going?) for “infused” water as an entertaining thing. Basically you just toss something (usually fruit, sometimes rose petals or some herbs) into a pitcher of ice water to give it a very light flavoring. Its nice, particularly cucumber water. Its gotten to the point where you can by special “infusing pitchers” that have a little tea pot like straining chambers to hold all the stuff. They are pointless and don’t work.
This would seem to be an incredibly hamfisted attempt to monetize that trend. Water with some shit tossed into it isn’t worth $6 bucks. Asparagus is not something that’s going to readily flavor water just by sitting in it. And near as I can tell the fad is dying out.
Personally I blame Pinterest.
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This doesn’t seem any worse than a lot of the other hippie / foodie bullshit Whole Foods sells to their stupid customers. Hell, they’ve got homeopathy products - was the problem here that this is way too much asparagus? Dilute! Dilute!
You know how the produce section in some supermarkets has little sprinklers that go off every few minutes to keep the greens cool and crisp? My guess is that some Whole Foods exec realized that all that runoff was just going to waste.
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They should have just used the publicity and continued to offer the product.
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To be honest, when I first read the head line I assumed they were bottling and selling the water that asparagus stands in…
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Oh, c’mon, there aren’t Whole Foods executives in LA laughing at you!
They’re in Austin laughing at you.
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clearly i know nothing of the golden showers scene aside from the basics : )
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Golden showers are not really My Thing, but I guarantee that having pee that smells like skunk anus to a certain percentage of people will not get you invited to many golden shower parties in the future.
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but what if “eau d’pepe anus” is part of what turns you on?
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I have absolutely no doubt that “seeking asparagus fanatics” is part of somebody’s urine-centric Craigslist ad.
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This really bums me out. I tried a bottle the other day and really enjoyed it. If I could get the recipe I’d make it at home.
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And yeah that’s my limit on things I just didn’t need to picture in my head today. Thanks internet.
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Try this sequence:
- open bottle
- insert water
- insert asparagus
- close bottle
- wait
- open bottle
- consume
Just a rough guess but may work.
Optionally you can put the bottle into a tumbler washing machine with a load of clothes. The heat and tumbling action works well for extraction or dissolution. Make sure the bottle won’t open.
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This makes no sense. Who do I give the six dollars to?
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Put them into a separate bottle. Take out when needed.
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People who believe in them. They don’t work for anybody else.
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