Why didn't bidets catch on in the United States?

Yep! From much experience, you are most definitely not spreading shit all over yourself by spraying your butt with water. You’re spraying it off. Soap isn’t really a magical disinfectant; it does a bit of that but just helps water work better. But on sensitive tissue it can be an irritant.


Americans are, are a general rule, giant prudes. Bidets might threaten to dislodge the sticks up our asses and we can’t have that, now can we.


“And when you wash your tail, you better use soap.”
—Beastie Boys



I heard the French pass time by screwing and save time by not bathing regularly. The bidet quite efficiently helps on both counts.

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Fixed that for you!

(And I quite agree! :slight_smile: )


I’ll keep with using paper rather than water. Cleaning with soap daily in the shower has served me well so far.

But I did let the hubby know he has support in the BB community!

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The messy bit is these aren’t supposed to be flushed, SO, use an empty pack to dispose of the dirty wipes.


This is a thread about Bidets. Your posting a picture of a douche-bag


I don’t understand how the bidet stays clean. At least the ones that are built into a toilet. I don’t want a nozzle that’s encrusted with other peoples shit or piss spraying water up my ass. Also how much water sprayed on your ass does it take to clean it? how will my ass and clothes not be wet afterwards?

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Back up slowly. No soap required.



The little nozzle just peeks out a small amount from the back and sprays at an angle. Poop isn’t getting onto it unless you poop horizontally. And when it’s not in use, the nozzle retracts. But even if it does get messy, somehow, even the non-electric ones have cleaning functions.

The spray is pretty efficient. I find that just a few seconds of it does the job. And it’s very direct and narrow so it’s hitting your ‘button’, not your cheeks or back. A few squares of toilet paper dry you off easily.


We have one I love it. It’s one of the cheaper add-on ones from Amazon, about 30 bucks.
Took about 20 mins to install.
My only complaint is you do have to sit just right or do a little butt wiggle.
The SO said they should make them with butthole targeting technology. Tho that’s an algorithm I wouldn’t want released in the wild. I mean I’ve seen movies, and that wouldn’t end well.


I feel like I might be another species then because the consistency of shit is never consistent. Some days things like this may work. Other days my ass would splatter everything in that toilet and no “focused spray” would even begin to be enough to clean my ass.



BTW: In our patrol at Ten Mile River Camp, we had this one kid who was ‘personal hygiene challenged’. Except for our brave (and backed into a corner) patrol leader, everyone refused to double-up with him in a tent that summer. He had to be instructed on how to wipe himself. I blame his parents.

Question: Is it possible that there’s a connection (at least early on) between the respective qualities (and availability) of American and European toilet paper and the likelihood of wanting/needing a bidet?

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We used to have a diaper sprayer and I started to use that in a bidet way and it was awesome. But we got rid of it and I haven’t gone back. Probably should, cuz:

I also want to convince my son to become a sitzpinkler like his old man. Guys, even when you hit the water, there is splash-back that makes its way out of the bowl.


Oh, for sure. Parents of young children seeing those bidets shoot water across the bathroom are like, nope. That’s a partial answer to the question right there.


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Get your Smart Bidet today in the BB Store. Now with insecure IOT camera so you can check on your bidet from ANYWHERE. Buy now and earn our proprietary ButtCoins generated with your toilet’s spare processor cycles.

I have been sitting to pee for 30ish years and taught my son to do the same. When I hear a guest peeing standing up I feel my home has been violated.


No matter how much you splatter, the nozzle for these things is covered and retracted when it’s not spraying.

I find it helps to sort of shift around while cleaning to spray everything that needs spraying. Especially if it’s one of “those times”.

When I’ve had food poisoning et al., it’s been infinitely better than wiping with paper. Well, unless you just get in a shower.


Sign me up for a tactical Ass Blaster!