A butts-on review of Boing Boing's favorite bargain bidet


Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/05/25/a-butts-on-review-of-boing-boi.html


Uhhh - wasn’t there a bidet post just a few days ago? Are y’all being paid off by Big Bidet?


Bidets are the new iphone, or zombie apocalypse or titanium tactical blunt.

Seriously - if you live anywhere with a real winter - unheated seems ill advised.


I don’t think California has real winters, except in the mountains.


Best. Review. Ever.


Sure; but it seems a bit low on my reasons to move list…


It is true. Big Bidet scooped Mark and Carla off the streets of skid row and got them into the techno hipster zine biz as part of a twenty-five year campaign to make bum-squirters acceptable.


We get brutal winters here, but unless your bathroom is (a) outside or (b) unheated, it’s not too bad; the water comes from the toilet tank, so it’s a little cooler than the room’s temperature. Definitely chilly, but never unusable. That said, the ones with a hot-water line work really well – unless you’re someone like me who lives upstairs in an old house and the water takes several solid minutes to heat up.


You turned it up to ten, didn’t you. Like you do.

I keep telling you, NOBODY else does that, Jason!

The Squirtle .gif was particularly excellent!


Everyone does this. I would be totally failing to accurately review what readers want if I didn’t immediately try to invert every airplane, floor every throttle, and make Mark catch bullets in his teeth.


I wiped bumhole and a washed one is not the same. It’s just not. That’s the first “what was I thinking” reaction you’ll have once you’re past the newness of it. And let’s just clarify, you wash, in a sort of gyrating twerk style, then it’s one wipe to dry. Two, tops. That’s it. Then prepare for the inevitable craving for a warmer version once you’re hooked. And you will be. Then you’ll forever agree with the first sentence above.


Big day for poo poo humor.


I did on my first ride on my bidet. “Well, let’s crank this puppy up… AAIGGHH!”

To this day I have no idea why the dial goes above the second ‘dot’.


[quote=“nungesser, post:8, topic:101619”]the water comes from the toilet tank[/quote]Ahh, there’s the little detail that’s been missing from the posts so far.

My apartment building uses pressure-flushing toilets. (They make quite a bit of noise and tend to catch guests off-guard.) Since the tank contains only a sealed vessel, a bargain bidet shall find no place there.


Does this bidet have a firehose setting?


When on vacation in Italy, I did not initially see the ‘pressure’ setting on the hotel room bidet, only the temperature.

Not going to make that mistake again.


The water comes from your home water supply, and you add a valve to the tube that goes from your wall to the toilet to supply the bidet.

It does not draw water from the tank. It draws water from the same source as the tank, however.


It’s the best way to clean your butt and rinse your mouth at the same time!


The home i grew up in, which was built in the early 40-50’s had something like this but the bidet was a hand held wand. You’d turn on the water valve under the toilet and had a push through button that’d change the pressure of the wand from low to high. Though high wasn’t that potent and the low was way too low.


What a review!

ETA: finally found the right image