Yep. My Central American family members have a whole different concept of personal space. As in, my personal bubble is like 3 feet, I’m not a toucher, and they find that weird and off-putting.
I’m the child of the black sheep of the family and a white woman, so their expectations of me are not the same as for all of my cousins. They expect me to be weird and have low morals, which is fine. (No one said this to my face, I heard it from around a corner, and it was really liberating, actually.) They do still expect me to kiss and hug everyone they introduce me to, though. There are more than 50 first cousins in my generation, so the family is freaking huge.
At least the kisses are more like two people touching cheeks and making a kissy sound, maybe a sliver of lip corner, not a full on smacker.
I can’t imagine being a celebrity and anyone thinking they can just hug me. Yeesh. I don’t care for Seinfeld, he’s just not my bag of funny, but I understand the desire to avoid hugs from strangers.
“I won’t be wronged. I won’t be insulted. I won’t be laid a-hand on. I don’t do these things to other people, and I require the same from them.”
John Wayne - ‘The Shootist’.
PS:
I am probably another non-hugger. I don’t object in principle, but there is always a few seconds of ‘hey, what’s going on here?’ mind-spasm, and then it is too late.
Maybe it’s because I am a 50 year old Yankee living in Germany, but I haven’t the foggiest idea who she is, and no good reason to find out either. I mean really, it’s all too easy not to know who she is, if it’s really her or just some candid camera stunt. Fnord.
I come from a place that goes for cheek kissing in formal greetings in a big way and, I mean, you can refuse in the same way you can refuse a handshake, i.e. it’s a bit rude. The one time it was an issue, however, (visitor from Japan with… rather different ideas as to what ‘personal space’ meant) it got dealt with without any fuss.
I was thinking about this, that to some people a hug is just the same thing as a handshake. To some cultures it’s a huge difference in intimacy, others not I guess.
I do think as a gringo I get a lot more latitude because usually they know we’re not as huggy-kissy. Things get awkward when both sides try to cross cultures, them trying to guess what I’ll do and me trying to guess what they will do. But before feeling too badly about it, I just try to hope that being friendly matters more than formal conventions.
Used to work at a bar near the Hollywood Bowl. Kesha would rent out the
entire bar for just her and her trendy group of friends/employees.
Reserving the entire place for her moderate-sized group as a private event
(and essentially blocking any of our regulars from entering). Then the
young crowd would drink cheap drinks the entire night, and neglect to tip.
Perhaps they thought they already owned the place for the night, or
expected Kesha would cover tips. They were a demanding and snooty bunch,
cooler-than-thou. We went home after a full night of working on a weekend
essentially penniless. Kesha was friendly, polite, and surrounded by
worshipful hanger-ons, but her eyes were always as glazed as a Krispy Kreme
and she was always swaying, barely staying upright. (Not from us! She
arrived that way!)
