Why I hate misandry gifs


#1

I don’t doubt how often bigoted assholes cry mysandrany when women gain an inch of ground or as backlash to try shutting down discussion over women’s rights, abuses of women, and how the world needs to change to stop favoring white guys (I am a white guy, about the only privilage I’ve enjoyed from being a white guy is not being arrested or harassed by cops… mostly because I haven’t much left the house my family lives in. Disability sucks. Trust me, you don’t want it.)

The thing is to me it comes off as ‘No I’m not insultng YOU shut up.’ when it’s… hell it feels like it’s perfectly OK to get deep into nut bashing territory. Flip the script a bit.

‘One of the good ones’

Right, I’ve seen that line used to describe guys here clamoring to defend it as ‘just a joke.’ Well I’ve got a stepdad that will sit and do cruel hurtful things, say some of the most vile shit you could imagine, and then when called out on it go ‘It’s just a joke, stop being so sensetive.’

To me it isn’t a joke, it’s greenlighting the same kind of ‘oh it’s Ok to hate some nebulous catagorial Other’ that is the cause of the problem in the first place.

Then I get called out ‘oh he doens’t think it’s proper for property to talk like that.’ No. Just… no, that goes too fr, crosses all kinds of lines and just… No. That’s not OK. I’ve been here with boingboing for a decade, ben in the forums since it started, and to say I consider women ‘property’…

That comes off as exceedingly stupid not to mention it feels very much like ‘OH you don’t agree with me. You aren’t even human. Away with you filth.’

I am an angry person. I put up with a lot because of my family and because of my disabilities keeping me reliant on them as well as general issues of unable to work (setting aside the whole benefits/disability issue it’s a large case of Nobody here will hire me and if they would i can’t get there because family doesn’t want to help and even if they did I’ve got two special needs siblings, mom’s slowly dying because of a bad heart, and I have to babysit on top of that.)

That does not excuse how I act, merely explains part of it.

I just find the mysandrany crap exceedingly unfunny. A thread exists? Woopity doo. I don’t visit it precisely because ‘oh it’s clearly a thing I don’t like. AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE.’ Just casually posting elsewhere then acting like i’m a troglodyte for being unamused?

I don’t expect anything to change, other than perhaps me getting banned. Let the circlejerk continue unabated I suppose.

I just felt like i should explain myself before the inevetable.


#2

You are entirely entitled to your opinion and you certainly don’t have to like everything that’s posted here. We don’t all have to agree.

I do think you need to look at the context in which a gif is posted instead of jumping to conclusions and name calling when you are unhappy about that. Instead of saying “i hate those gifs, no matter the context” you assumed the context of my post and attributed things to me that I didn’t do and got angry when I demanded an apology. The post was aimed at myself as being a man hater, not @wrecksdart, you or any other man on this board. I most often use that gif to make fun of people who are saying that discussions around sexism are anti-man, which they aren’t.

Nor did I make any comments about you think that women are property… Maybe go back and read the snark I wrote to @andy_hilmer, where I said I’m not coforming to your view of proper language to use in a debate. I never said you think women are property or should be. I’ve seen you often railing against the same things that many of the women here do. I don’t think your sexist or that you hate women. I do think you were trying to police my tone, however.

I understand that your family situation is very tough and I’m really sorry about that. I hope things get better. My mother is often ill, too, my father died a few years ago from lung cancer and my step dad is in the hospital today. I can totally sympathize with you and your anger. Again, I hope things get better and you find a better place.


#3

Generally when I speak against you or the other regulars it’s because it looks like your’e casting too wide a net and catching me and others that are supportive in with the trout.


#4

Again, the joke was aimed at me.


#5

This is how I read the thread - partially blowing off steam at inequality and partially laughing at claims that people here hate or want to incite violence against men. Much like the Marxism thread when it started. There are women who hate men for being men or abuse men inside or outside of relationships. Sometimes they justify this by the weaker status of women in general and the fact that he is a man can mean that the victim is considered less worthy of sympathy or support. I don’t think these gifs are excusing these women or denying their existence, and I don’t think women like that tend to comment here. It isn’t a problem to anything like the extent that misogyny is.

Having said that, there are times when I avoid the thread too (not that I feel targeted, just sensitive to negative portrayals, which is my own issue).


#6

Your comment got cut off! But you fixed it! :wink:

I wouldn’t have had a problem if he’d said “I don’t like the misandry gif” and even said why. It’s his right to feel that way and fair enough. That isn’t what he did. He completely mischaracterized what I said and what I meant and who it was aimed at and then doubled down when I wanted an apology. He’s refused to apologize to me twice now for different things, while apologizing to other men involved. I just don’t think he respects me.


#7

Sorry, new computer and my hand slipped before I’d finished writing.


#8

How do you know that?

I have experienced the world as male and female, and I know male privilege does exist, I’ve seen it from both sides. Every so often I come across a newly transitioning trans woman (usually older and middle class) who is shocked when they realise how much the world is set up in favour of men. They just never had the experience before then to see it.

If you became a woman tomorrow, you would still have all the same problems as today, and a whole load more on top.


#9

You’ve been here a while, and the fact that you sought this place out probably means that you feel the same as the general populace on many issues. I hope that you aren’t forced to take a break from this place, as we all know that you’re not an asshole. Perhaps it’s just that you were struck badly by the previous post which we all know this conversation is about.

Your response comes down to a matter of perspective, and perspective is largely not something that individuals can help. To use an extreme example (which I don’t mean to reflect on you in any way), someone who is brought up racist has a very difficult time realizing, later if life, that their beliefs are not appropriate (to put it mildly).

We all have certain things that just BOTHER us to our cores, and that’s ok. That’s part of being human. Please don’t take this as a directive, because it’s merely a suggestion, but I think that you should pause before you input a heated response and possibly insult somebody needlessly. Just wait an hour before posting, so that you have time review your post before it goes out.

I know that I am a little outside of the typical beliefs of BBers, and I sometimes have to watch my step so that I don’t terribly insult anybody or raise especial ire. I hope that you continue to be a part of this community. If you want to, take a voluntary break to cool off, but again, I hope you aren’t forced to leave.


#10

See that’s the thing. I’m a liberal that believes in fair equal treatment and rights in a state so read it’s laughably cartoonish.

Take gay rights for example. Or transgendered folk. I was in a long distaince relationship with a wonderful ladyy who can’t pass, and has since been diagnosed as diabetic so has opted to just… not bother because of feared complications.

She made me happy, helped bring out the good in me, gave me someone i could solidly depend on, and helped me work up the nerve to confront family about some long term shit.

She’s still a friend, but because of my personal situation things just… didn’t happen. Mostly because I tel family that hey I found someone wonderful that’s nice and is willing to help me in spite of my disabilities I’d like you to meet them… Odds are I’d end up disowned at an absolute minamum if I had gone through with that, and she wasn’t in a position to shlep across country to pick me up (which is something both of us hate.

I can’t freely discuss my views, and i am dependant on people that if they wish they can cut any travel I do down to zero because I’m wholly dependant on them all while preaching down at me like i’m some halfwhit, using my lack of worldly experiance to club me about the face if I make any sort of misstep and then use that fault to further lay into me as excuse on why I need them.

Do not preach to me about privilage. I"m frankly lucky that they’re smartphone addicted and that carriers don’t offer unlimited data, because as of right now the internet is how i reach out to the world and it can get removed at any time.

They mean well. They’d go on about how they’re keeping me safe and how hard life can be and that I should enjoy having a roof and food and blah blah blah. The fact of the matter is unless it’s to help them, right now I barely go anywhere and have no money to spend that they don’t hand me.


#11

Well I’ve got a stepdad that will sit and do cruel hurtful things, say some of the most vile shit you could imagine, and then when called out on it go ‘It’s just a joke, stop being so sensetive.’

Hunh. He doesn’t apologize either. Gosh. Some apples don’t fall far from a grafted tree, I see.

You want to be ignorant of the context, that’s your choice.

But you and you alone are responsible for your actions and inactions.


#12

I’ve seen a gif recently that I thought particularly obnoxious. It reminded me of the following song from South Park.

Social Justice, 1-2-3! (Woo Woo)
I wanna be PC! (Woo Woo)
It’s just the way to be, for me… and you (Woo Woo)
Your hateful slurs are through! (Woo Woo)
I call Woo Woo on you (Woo Woo)
We’ll fight until you’re PC black and blue! (Woo Woo)
We are language Police Fighting bigotry!
Hurtful words can suck our turds! Cause it’s PC for me!
We are language Police Fighting bigotry! Fighting bigotry! (Woo Woo)
Cause it’s PC for me!


#14

I’m the one who posted the thing that jumped this off so you should have replied first and foremost to me. Full stop.

I wrote the word “Misandreee” because I think it’s funny (and pathetic and juvenile and fucking get over yourself already you whinging manchildren) how the dudebros of the world seem to find women at the root of all bad things, so if anyone deserves a slapdash and poorly considered reply, @singletona082, it’s me. So fire away.

Or, actually, don’t. Maybe take that stuff to someone who is licensed and trained and who’ll listen and help. I consider myself fairly smart and certainly capable of some level of self-reflection, but I recall my surprise at the insights offered by therapists I’ve seen over the years.

And do recognize that you lashed out AT THE WRONG PERSON. Nobody gets a pass on shitty behavior, myself included. I fucking hate saying I’m sorry sometimes, and I’ve been pretty bad at it, but own your mistake and apologize. Maybe you were so fired up that you forgot to see why @Mindysan33 would post that image, maybe you were hungry or tired or whatever–it doesn’t matter. Your reply was almost comical in it’s missing the mark (on numerous levels), but it was rude and ill-considered and you should apologize.

I’m sorry that you’re dealing with a rough situation. I spent an hour and a half yesterday at the VA with lots of men and women older and poorer off than myself and yet even the dude with two bionic legs was cracking jokes about my height (and he’s wrong–I’d still whoop him at hoops…I think).

Awesome. Perchance you’re reading one of Donald Trump’s advice books? Double-down, always. Never apologize, because that’s weak.

The next time you’re writing up such a tirade, double check the source and reply correctly instead of issuing fatwas and proclaiming your persecution.


#15

I have said my piece. Was I an asshole to @Mindysan33? Yea. That’s not a good thing. I’d like to think I’m trying, but, well. Show and don’t tell applies to behavior as it does to storytelling.

At this point I’m done talking though, take that as cowardice, some sign of sin, or some other sign that you get to crow about how i’m some kind of subhuman sack of shit you get permission to feel smug about being better than.


#16

Shruggie.

It’s your pity-party. I’d post a misandry GIF but I don’t want to upset you further.


#17

Hey now. I have always known trout to be very egalitarian.

#notalltrout

Pike are assholes, though. Maybe you just confused salmonids with esox?


#18

Man, fuck pike.


#19

Aw heck, I’ll do it


#20

Er… I don’t know that that gif necessarily counts; some men like it a little rough.


#21

Honestly, you don’t like the gifs, that’s fine. You can say as much, and I won’t be upset. I was upset that you went off on me when I felt you misconstrued my meaning (which was poking fun at myself). All I wanted was an apology for that, because I didn’t deserve it. It would have been over. You didn’t have to apologize for not like the gif, because that’s your right, just for going off on me for no reason.

No one here thinks you’re a coward or subhuman. We like you and value your contributions. I don’t think I’m better than you, but I think we’re both community members here who should treat each other with more respect. You are one of us… deal with it! :wink: