Why is the US military funding robots that play jazz?


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Surely this is not the first step in replacing the entire military with autonomous killbots.


Autonomous hep cat killbots with a hot beat.


Jazz playing robots is about the best use of military resources I can imagine.


Ah, this makes sense:

“We have found that poorly improvised jazz solos are an efficient way to immobilize the enemy…”

Basically a little free-form jazz exploration to confound and bedazzle.




Our tax dollars going to good use again.



Sounds like they’re preparing for another Blue Meanie invasion of Pepperland.


Why don’t they just use George Lewis’s system for a jazz-playing program?

No, but really, this sounds like the most boring musical robot on earth. If artists ever need discouragement from taking military money, the dullness of the project outputs should help. Also, yeah, this kind of pattern recognition is totally meant to help autonomously decide who to murder.


Sure they’re killbots, but they’ve got monster chops.


Why is the US military funding robots that play jazz?

Because Australia has started a robot-band arms race.


Friend of mine was in an army band (he’d originally joined because there weren’t that many other paying gigs for trombonists.) Decided it was really the most useless job ever. A base gets a new general, they have a parade. When they weren’t working on parades, they’d play at the officers’ beer hall.


Why is the US military funding robots that play jazz?

Dammit, man! Don’t you understand how close the commies are to a robot that can play swing? We can’t let them get to rock-and-roll first!


The mechanical Hound slept but did not sleep, lived but did not live in its gently humming, gently vibrating groove.


The 3rd Directive: “There is no such thing as a wrong note.”


Kyle Reese:

“The 600 series had accordions. We spotted them easy, but these are new. They look human… sweat, bad breath, saxophones, everything.”


I really can’t stand it when someone mashes randomly on a saxophone and calls it “jazz”. It barely qualifies as music, says I.


Vaguely apropos:



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