Why "It Follows" is the best horror movie in over a decade


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Huh, this sounds almost like a John Carpenter movie from the 80s (particularly the soundtrack)… Has he actually come back to making horror movies?

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I stopped being scared or creeped out by horror movies about 20 years ago…

I no longer consider myself Catholic, but having been raised Catholic, I still get freaked out by possession movies…

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The anticipation of its arrival slowly and brutally wears the audience down, like death by a billion spoon thwacks.

I saw what she did there.
And that is also the first thing I thought about when I heard about the premise.


Important data: currently in theaters in limited release. According to imdb, will be streaming on march 27th.

Chun the Unavoidable…

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Monster survival plan:

  1. Rent a houseboat (this is assuming the monster can’t walk on water, because that would be totally unfair.)
  2. Buy a dozen or so inflatable sex dolls via mail order. Have the courier toss the packages to you from a nearby dock.
  3. Have lots of doll sex.
  4. Go back to the dock and toss the (deflated and boxed) sex dolls back to the courier. FedEx each used sex doll to a different location around the globe.
  5. Hire someone in each location to regularly check in on these sex dolls and alert you if any monsters show up to destroy them. Warn this person not to use this sex doll themselves.
  6. You’re in the clear for several months at least, probably years! Repeat whenever the number of unmurdered-sex-dolls gets too low.


If it does come after you (are we really not doing “phrasing” anymore?), you can always try lashing the sex dolls together into a raft and paddling away to safety.


Sounds a hell of a lot like a short story I read last year, possibly by Joe R. Lansdale. Let me see if I can dredge it up.

Reminds me a bit of The Box. Not scary, but the slowly unfolding nightmare reminds me of this story.
“The Box” Trailer: https://youtu.be/Fcno71K4v7Y

Maybe it is an exceptionally good swimmer?

Same. Actually I was disappointed when I saw the spoon reference because I was hoping I could illuminate the discussion with a link to that video. But of course you beat me to it anyway.

. . . a monster will begin walking slowly in your direction.

Subtract the sex and add a film-noirish “just because”, and you’ve got a book that scared the hell out of me as a kid, John Bellairs’ The Figure in the Shadows. The Edward Gorey illustration of the ghost / monster walking in the middle of the night along an abandoned country road is probably a horror madeleine for quite a few now-aging geeks.

Bellairs borrows liberally from M.R. James, esp. “A School Story” and “Oh, Whistle, And I’ll Come To You, My Lad” - he’s probably the grandfather of this kind of story.


There is an East European fairy tale called Misery. Misery follows you and lives in your house. You need trap it in a hole in the ground (or the hollow of a tree), quickly jump out cover it and then you come into good fortune and your rich greedy neighbour will notice your luck and you tell him where the treasure is - and then of course Misery follows him.

The fear of the unknown is the most powerful. Too many horror movies give it away which is why I don’t bother with them. Enjoyed the Mothman prophecy because it didn’t.

Oh dear no… Not here… This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. A crappy piece of void.

You get nice views of Detroit and a nice soundtrack, but aside from that, you have a bunch of complete retards that you do not care about making shitty decisions in a plot which slowly unfold as being totally worthless.

Thi icing on the cake is the blatant misogyny of the movie. The heroine is a beautiful girl which at least spends most of the movie half-naked, a welcome distraction, and is even more moronic than the rest of the cast. The only vaguely smart kid of the gang is an ugly girl (do you see the connection here ?) which make farting jokes, is made fun of because she is so nerdy and is totally underused

Comparing that to any Carpenter movie or to any worthwhile movie is beyond my understanding…

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