You can do it in forty five minutes or so, from start to finish. Use a bit more yeast. Also baking powder based recipes if that’s not fast enough. If you make dough, it keeps in the fridge for a few days, and is multipurpouse (calzones, pig in a blanket dough, flatbread, non-flat bread, rolls, can be formed into caltrops and sharpened to help defend your castle, etc )
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A spherical pizza would have no crust, and be hard to eat.
I have legitimately tried to think of a way (on Earth) to bake a spherical tray of brownies, though. All gooey middle. I know some people love edges, but I don’t get it.
This math doesn’t even take into account the crusts, which (unless stuffed) I usually toss. Two mediums would have far more crust area.
Perhaps just reducing the radius by 1/2" would handle it?
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Any machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough.
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The math was so much simpler when Little Ceasar’s had rectangle pizza.
Also, does anyone remember health class in the 70s, when they used to tell us pizza was a healthy food?
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The frictionless plates could be a problem.
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Some people are wrong.
ETA: If you want to supercharge your yeast to get things moving faster, proofing it in sugar water or (better) honey water, that’s cool. But sugar in the crust? What are we - barbarians?
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I go with Mark Bittman’s passable but not necessarily top of the line dough recipe , and yeah. It’s hard to heck it up. Freeze it after the first rise if you want. Mix it in a food processor if you don’t have a dough hook. Or by hand if you’re feeling kneady.
Everything else is sourced by me, and I get to pick the toppings/etc.
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The real problem is most home ovens aren’t pizza oven hot…the upside is you can control the salt…and get what you want. I like chicken and Alfredo sauce pizza; you can’t get that from a takeout, and if you could I don’t think it would be very good
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The concept of “a large slice of pizza” was super weird to me before leaving Central Ohio, where pretty much all pizza is cut into small squares and has a cracker crust. Some chains like Domino’s still do that, which makes portion control waaaay harder. “I’ll just have one more square… and a corner piece… and a few more little squares… oh hey, the pizza’s all gone.”
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In many places they use the same ball of dough to make the larger pizza as the smaller size, they just spread it out more. Weird, I know, but I’ve seen it. I guess it makes inventory easier to manage. But in those cases, if you care about reducing the bread to topping ratio, the large is the way to go.
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Pizza steels can do a lot though. Make the dough a little bit thinner and be light on toppings and you can get pretty good stuff out of your standard 500F max oven with a pizza stone.
Not even getting into steel and stone combos (stone on top, steel on the bottom, preheat to 500F for an hour, pizza goes on the steel) where you definitely can get some good cooks.
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two mediums or one large?
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Oh yeah, I remember when frozen pizza* was on the cafeteria menu. Nobody wanted to be late for lunch on those days! 
*Ok, I was young and didn’t know any better - the Ellio’s salesman must’ve had an exclusive contract with the school board.
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Hey! pinapple works shockingly well with pizza sauce (eh, who knew?). And, of course, you’ll be having ham or Canadian bacon with it also. Double yum.
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Uh, pretty sure you’ve broken the pizza right there.
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You’all ain’t been ta Austin, right?
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Pineapple and pepperoni is actually pretty legit too.
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I kind of made friends with a kid in junior high because he always had Ellio’s in his freezer.
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