*throws things*
You know what we call that in Canada? Ham.
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Mostly because those south of us think any old ham qualifies as back bacon. They are sadly misinformed.
Who knows what would happen if they found peameal bacon.
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Shall we discuss cornmeal in the dough next? 
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A spherical homogeneous pizza…
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Don’t get me started with that Chicago abomination! (Which is delicious!)
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Whoever wrote this doesn’t buy much pizza. No restaurant sells a 12" medium and an 18" large. A large pizza is 14". Also, you get more toppings on 2 medium pizzas. I have worked at several restaurants that sell pizzas and have ordered pizza in countless times.
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Ah, did a little Googleing and I see I live in a chicken alfredo pizza backwater (Edmonton, AB ) . I still think I prefer homemade Alfredo sauce, though 
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It honestly reads like they wrote the article, then discovered they were off on typical sizes, and so just adjusted the large to be larger to make the math work.
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Pequod’s has the best Chicago deep dish. Lou Malnati’s is a distant second.
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Get a rack to cook the layers:
Extra small
Small
Medium
Large
Extra large
Large
Medium
Small
Extra small
You get the idea.
Alternate idea: a bunch of square layers carved into a sphere.
This seems like a series of Youtube challenges waiting to be filmed.
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Depends if the pizza is baked to be spherical or if assembled into the shape after baking counts. Something that sort of counts might also be this:
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It’s all just casseroles there.
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I am so sick of my cardiologist horning in on my pizza. You’re not my friend! You’ve got a job, buy your own damn pizza!
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On large pizza has eight standard slices. Once medium pizza also has eight standard slices. Two medium pizzas has sixteen standard slices between them. Therefore, it follows that two medium pizzas gives you more pizza slices than one large pizza.
QED.
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A pizza is clearly a 2D problem, so a circle. Preferably delivered in a vacuum for optimum heat retention.
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So the eggplant parmigiana, that you could cook in a wood oven used for pizza too. The problem is semantic, they should have called it something else. French and Germans gotit right and called it Flammekueche or tarte flambée
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There are the Sicilian “Panzerotti al forno”
There are also the deep fried ones typically from Puglia…
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I think if someone wants to make pizza they can easily find the instructions online; but most people order pizza because they don’t want to bother with making it, and wait for like two days to eat it. I know there are people who plan their weekly meals or go “I want to eat pizza, so I’ll make one and eat it tomorrow!” but the majority of people, for whom pizza is essentially fast food? Nah. (Who even has yeast at home? Not someone who doesn’t bake bread or pastries regularly.)
Me, I just keep a bunch of taco sheets frozen, and if I want to eat “pizza” I’ll defrost one or two, add random stuff on top of it, and stick it into an oven.
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Year supply of yeast (1lb), online for ~6$. Home rush job pizza takes about 45 minutes from conception to table, not two days. Good to use up leftovers. Either of us could have made dough in the time it took you to write your response. I’m not saying you have to make pizza, it’s just that it is easy and the time is competitive with a pizzeria.
Our lifespan and health seem to be limited by how much sugar we eat, sugar is commonly in the sauce and dough from fast food pizza, doing it at home lets you control how much.
If you enjoy doing your quick taco sheet thing, you might enjoy doing a pizza too.
I will typically throw dough ingredients in a big bowl, which takes about a minute, and multitask/wast time by kneading one handed in front of my computer while I watch a youtube or something. So if you’ve ever sat in front of a computer, and done something potentially messy with one hand while browsing with the other, you have the life skills for this technique.
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If it’s a crust on the outside, I think it’s a Dyson’s pizza (or a round calzone)
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