That what’s true? The current fashion in sick-society thinking, and how it characterizes men in our society, and our society itself? Yes, absolutely I am.
You can come up with innumerable counter-examples to this claim: “Our highways and daily commutes are not scenes of carnage and bloodbath”.
There is rape, there is misogyny, and there are glass ceilings. But in your daily commute, you’ll find relatively safe travel. You’ll also see rows and rows of houses and workplaces filled with men and women working together, raising families together, and generally getting along, as far as the eye can see.
Lets keep things in perspective. Despite the fact that doing so denies the society-is-sick sweet tooth a whole host of bonbons.
“And by that I mean MY perspective. God forbid we try to see this from the perspective of a woman who has to endure dozens of catcalls every day and gets rape threats for mentioning it.”
When I lived in Japan, kids would often yell Hello (more like haro) or “this is a pencil” (one of the commonly taught phrases (not that it bothered me). At least once I was denied service, “sorry Japanese only! Gaijin dah-meh” in the most polite way of course.
I think that’s the problem right there. You heard it was a form of harassment and didn’t intuitively know it was. Also, you didn’t know that it is not a “kinda generally” bad thing, but that it is always a bad thing.
Will I really? Nope, I don’t. Your daily commute is relatively safe, but mine isn’t. When I park at the garage at night for work, I need to make sure it’s in a lighted area or get police escort to it after. Then I have people tell me I am being judgmental of men because I do it. But if I am attacked, I set myself up by parking there.
Just a few weeks back I was at a gas station and was sexually harassed by a total stranger. Luckily, I am a heavy lifter and have enough self confidence and moxie to stand up for myself. Many other women don’t have that privilege I do.
At work I have suggested things to have them shot down and then the same suggestion is made by a male in another meeting and it’s taken up. If I complain, I am taking it too personal, or maybe I need to “learn how to communicate ideas differently”.
You don’t experience this, but I and countless other women, in countless ways, do.
I lucked out having a father who taught me how to fight and a mouth to back it up. A brother who gave me enough practice fighting and a mother who taught me when to fight. I don’t see the world as a dangerous place but I refuse to wear rose-colored glasses when it comes to this.
That’s a SUPER broad statement (and not completely factual). IDK if you’re talking about the original video or the PSA. I will only address the original video here. The men in the video vary from simple politeness (which, tbh, they might not have extended to a less attractive person) to sexual aggression. As stated by more than one person here, a woman doesn’t know who is the threat and who isn’t, so she has to treat them all the same. There is just as much possibility that the guy who said, “have a blessed day” could go off on her as the guy who walked next to her in silence for six minutes. She has no way of knowing. Remember: Rape isn’t about sex (i.e. “sexual conquest”). It’s about power. If only one in ten talked to her, she probably passed hundreds. The odds are great that one of those she passed has or will commit some kind of assault in his life. That one man isn’t interested in a sexual conquest. He’s interested in feeling in charge and in power over a weaker being.
Except I doubt it was change that they were going to ask for. Which makes it as oppressive as a catcall, in many ways. (And in some ways, more so.) It’s certainly worse than being asked for money.
This is the most reasonable thread on the subject of this video that I have yet read. Elsewhere, I’ve read a lot comments by men passionately defending the rights of assholes to make women uncomfortable or fearful because that’s the cornerstone of human mating rituals or something. Where’s Valerie Solanas when you need her?
Here’s the irony that gets to me: So many men are literally terrified of the dreaded male gaze. The same guys that look at this video and say, “What the hell is SHE complaining about? That men find her attractive? I’d find it flattering!” are the same guys that want to pass laws to keep men from checking them out in the shower. They’re the same guys that make nervous jokes about prison rape because that’s their worst nightmare: A man staring at them, desiring them and then seeking to make them feel fearful and subjugated with a litany of catcalls and abuse.
These guys are bullies who take pleasure in the suffering of others and live in terror of the day it happens to them.
Visiting cities (a rare occurrence), I do the “look directly at where you’re going at all times” bit while walking around, but have I been breaking the social contract for thanking people for holding a door, doing the head nod to fellow runners/bikers/dog walkers if they make eye contact, or saying “Excuse me” when pushing through? Or is that only a gender-specific faux-pas?
(ETA: This wasn’t meant to be sarcastic. The “big city” around here is 50,000 people, and if it’s actually making people uncomfortable, I’m a little mortified.)
The PRC variety tends to be late teens and early 20’s of both sexes (but male>>female), usually in groups and showing off to their friends. Having been on the receiving end makes it easy to see why even relatively low-key catcalling can be intimidating.
Pay more attention, because it is happening. Call people out if they do it. Condemn it where you can. If you have a son, raise him not do to do it. If you have a daughter, raise her not to put up with it.
