Accurate, but a little troubling that the best way to explain sexism is to encourage homophobiaâŚ
Become even more aware. Find out about local womenâs groups and feminist organizations. Listen to women and their perspective. Donât make demands on them on how they need to handle it. Support them. There are many amazing men who are feminists. Take Joseph-Gordon Levitt
He has written and spoken out on many feminist issues.
Donât just sit back and say ânow what?â actually do something.
But I donât see it happening. Note, Iâm not saying I see it and ignore it, I am genuinely, 100% not aware of such things happening. Iâm not going to get all up in random strangers business and start calling them out on the off chance that they may have done something that I havenât seen. In the one instance when a friend of mine was approached and I was aware of it I absolutely told the offending party that his advance was not welcome but in the same way that I donât instruct every person I see in a shop not to shoplift, I am not going to shout out against incidents of harassment that I donât witness.
What the fuck? Where did I even suggest at that?
Yet you see these videos? You see movies? You see comments online? TV? You do see it! Just because it isnât happening in flesh and blood doesnât mean you donât see it. You just donât want to.
Well, did you watch the video? Then you are 100% aware such things are happening. So go and give hollaback $5 and get it off your chest, if you like.
Jump back. I didnât even say you did. Many men tell women how we are supposed to handle these situations. I am saying what men need to do as a whole. You asked a question, I gave an answer. Your knee jerk reaction here isnât kosher.
Yes I saw the video and it was incredibly eye opening as ITS SOMETHING I WAS NOT AWARE WAS GOING ON. Thats the point Iâm making here. If its not something that is in the sphere of my experience how can I be expected to do something about it.
I am glad that is eye opening. Thatâs excellent! And now that you are seeing it, you can start to find out more about it and make changes.
Catcalls are obnoxious in any circumstance IMO, and stalking certainly is as well. I was referring to striking up a conversation with someone you donât know, within appropriate limits, and then backing the hell off if the interest isnât immediately and obviously reciprocated. Granted, Iâm a total INFP so I donât do this myself.
Make WHAT changes? Iâm already a not-cat-caller. I already would not put up with it from people I know. I already speak up every time I see it happening. What more can I possibly do?
I already gave you a list of things you can do, as did other commenters. The ball is in your court.
This is completely meaningless to me. I have no money to give to such a campaign. Keep posting that url at me though, Iâm sure thatâll somehow inflate my bank balance to levels where I can donate
LOL @Woodchuck45 - Iâll take you at your word that youâre not being sarcastic. What you describe is common courtesy. Youâre not approaching or addressing people FOR NO REASON other than their appearance or because youâre sexually interested in them or because you want a reaction from them are you?
OK. Well you could try persuading the wilfully obtuse on the internet that they could do plenty about it, although that gets boring pretty damn fast.
Edit: Snark aside, thatâs the campaign, theyâve got the ideas on how to help, they are mobilised and active. If you wanted to act on the issue, they have tools to help, beyond just giving money.
@daneel made excellent suggestions that are free. I gave you ones that cost no money. If you are already doing those, great! Keep it up!
Volunteer at a womenâs shelter. Become a member of Big Brothers and mentor a young man. There are countless ways you can make a difference that donât cost you a dime.
When I was in my early 20s and in film school, I accompanied a fellow student â a young, very good-looking woman â around center city Philadelphia one afternoon.
Every 30 seconds there was a honk and a call from a passing car. If I hadnât personally been accompanying her, I have no doubt there would have been exactly the kinds of up-close, in-your-face catcalls we see in this video.
From that experience I learned that a city is not the same experience for women as it is for men.
I also learned that a lot of men assume that personal boundaries donât matter, if the person in question is a woman.
Good lessons to learn as a very young man.
Iâm pretty skeptical that this is something that can be cured by internet driven cultural shift. However, NYCâs $350 fine for excessive honking is still on the books and extending it to this sort of harassment seems natural.
When we lived in NYC, my wife found that she only got cat-called when she was alone. If either I was there or our kids were there, then there was nothing.
