"Worst ever" air rage passenger jailed for drunken rampage

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I was really tempted to make some kind of joke about the 9/11 hijackers being worse air rage passengers, but I just don’t have the energy to come up with something clever.

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I’m absolutely shocked that Gerard Finneran’s obituary over at the New York Times makes no mention of his aerial cart shitting adventures. But then, it was a paid notice… still, would have been easy to slip in there. “…he enjoyed golf, tennis and paddle tennis. Plus he could shit on a drink cart like a pro.”

On a more sober note… he died from Alzheimer’s around 10 years after dropping a deuce on the cart. I wonder if he was already experiencing symptoms back then, which made his drunkeness truly epic.

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Verily, the first thing I thought of when I read the headline was, “Did someone manage to top the guy who defecated on the cart?”

The question now arises: did Mr. Finneran ever do something like that again? I half-expect to learn that he has since given a TED talk on the nature of air rage, or something.

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I had a guy a rows behind me get pretty hammered and decided to start kicking at the window. While a few of us helped the cabin crew with some muscle to deal with the guy, our efforts to restrain him were actually pretty civilized. Post 9/11, I imagine you’d have a conga line of people ready to help beat the shit out of him.

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Of course, using the economy class loos was completely out of the question. What, shit with the peasants?

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I know it might not be a popular suggestion, but I’d be perfectly çool with no booze on flights. If an airline advertised that they were doing that, it’d be a tick in their favour.
IMHO.

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He says his hobbies are, “golf, tennis and defecating on airplane food trollies”. Ooh that didn’t go down well. Golf is not popular round these parts.

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The Aristocrats!

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It’s a paid death notice. You don’t pay for insults, unless you’re into that sort of thing.

That’s ok, I was just going to say some dumb stuff about “flying off the handle”, but I couldn’t muster up a decent setup/punchline.

I’m pretty sure lots of people have weathered Alzheimer’s without afflicting others in the manner described

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You know the worst thing about these people is they always get awarded worst ever status by the use of performance enhancing rage drugs - mainly alcohol. Alcohol often is used in the various air games events as a performance enhancer because of it’s ready availability in venue, which I think makes it even more of a crutch - my entry of telling a 6 year old to shut the hell up and stop kicking my seat last year had absolutely no chance of placing just because I don’t drink, and as a consequence I didn’t think to run up and down the aisle peeing on people.

Frankly, the whole air games industry is corrupt, and needs to be cleaned up, although I can’t help but think how great it would be if next year’s entrant won using LSD or something a little bit more edgy than just booze. .

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I don’t think Alzheimers is generally the sort of thing one ‘weathers’.

Wow, the Finneran guy truly left his mark on history. Bravo. I know of dogs that are better behaved.

“…couldn’t use the first-class lavatories because they had been barricaded by assistants to the president of Portugal, who was also on the flight.” Really? REALLY? This in itself I find jaw-dropping - that a private passenger’s goon force can do something like this, presumably with the airline’s connivance.

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Isn’t the appropriate thing todo in those circumstances: defecate on the President of Portugal or his assistants rather than on the beverage cart.

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Nope, only Germany’s chancellor is permitted to do so, and only if she is into it*.

*And yes, she is into it.

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The current Portuguese president is a conservative and tried to block a government lead by a left coalition that won the parliamentary election in October.

Merkel is quite happy with Anibal Cavaco Silva who said a left government would be bad for the economy and stopping the bleeding to death austerity program would be a national security crisis (lolwut?).

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I guess there’s a reason that’s called a ‘Brutal Hammer’.