I was really tempted to make some kind of joke about the 9/11 hijackers being worse air rage passengers, but I just don’t have the energy to come up with something clever.
I’m absolutely shocked that Gerard Finneran’s obituary over at the New York Times makes no mention of his aerial cart shitting adventures. But then, it was a paid notice… still, would have been easy to slip in there. “…he enjoyed golf, tennis and paddle tennis. Plus he could shit on a drink cart like a pro.”
On a more sober note… he died from Alzheimer’s around 10 years after dropping a deuce on the cart. I wonder if he was already experiencing symptoms back then, which made his drunkeness truly epic.
Verily, the first thing I thought of when I read the headline was, “Did someone manage to top the guy who defecated on the cart?”
The question now arises: did Mr. Finneran ever do something like that again? I half-expect to learn that he has since given a TED talk on the nature of air rage, or something.
I had a guy a rows behind me get pretty hammered and decided to start kicking at the window. While a few of us helped the cabin crew with some muscle to deal with the guy, our efforts to restrain him were actually pretty civilized. Post 9/11, I imagine you’d have a conga line of people ready to help beat the shit out of him.
Of course, using the economy class loos was completely out of the question. What, shit with the peasants?
I know it might not be a popular suggestion, but I’d be perfectly çool with no booze on flights. If an airline advertised that they were doing that, it’d be a tick in their favour.
He says his hobbies are, “golf, tennis and defecating on airplane food trollies”. Ooh that didn’t go down well. Golf is not popular round these parts.
It’s a paid death notice. You don’t pay for insults, unless you’re into that sort of thing.
That’s ok, I was just going to say some dumb stuff about “flying off the handle”, but I couldn’t muster up a decent setup/punchline.
I’m pretty sure lots of people have weathered Alzheimer’s without afflicting others in the manner described
You know the worst thing about these people is they always get awarded worst ever status by the use of performance enhancing rage drugs - mainly alcohol. Alcohol often is used in the various air games events as a performance enhancer because of it’s ready availability in venue, which I think makes it even more of a crutch - my entry of telling a 6 year old to shut the hell up and stop kicking my seat last year had absolutely no chance of placing just because I don’t drink, and as a consequence I didn’t think to run up and down the aisle peeing on people.
Frankly, the whole air games industry is corrupt, and needs to be cleaned up, although I can’t help but think how great it would be if next year’s entrant won using LSD or something a little bit more edgy than just booze. .
I don’t think Alzheimers is generally the sort of thing one ‘weathers’.
Wow, the Finneran guy truly left his mark on history. Bravo. I know of dogs that are better behaved.
“…couldn’t use the first-class lavatories because they had been barricaded by assistants to the president of Portugal, who was also on the flight.” Really? REALLY? This in itself I find jaw-dropping - that a private passenger’s goon force can do something like this, presumably with the airline’s connivance.
Isn’t the appropriate thing todo in those circumstances: defecate on the President of Portugal or his assistants rather than on the beverage cart.
Nope, only Germany’s chancellor is permitted to do so, and only if she is into it*.
*And yes, she is into it.
The current Portuguese president is a conservative and tried to block a government lead by a left coalition that won the parliamentary election in October.
Merkel is quite happy with Anibal Cavaco Silva who said a left government would be bad for the economy and stopping the
bleeding to death austerity program would be a national security crisis (lolwut?).
I guess there’s a reason that’s called a ‘Brutal Hammer’.