Wounded veteran gets first DOD-approved penis transplant

Originally published at: Wounded veteran gets first DOD-approved penis transplant | Boing Boing

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But not the first DoD paid for penis. I got my penis paid for as part of my transition during that sweet sliver of time after Obama insisted on trans health care coverage, but before Trump ripped it back away.

Thank god the surgeon moved heaven and earth to get me into multiple surgeries within that 1 year window.


“…more of them with devastating genital-urinary trauma.”

This induces next-level horror for me. Not only is it a uniquely disturbing psychological blow; but the idea of basic bodily functions that occur multiple times per day becoming vastly more complicated is just…

I’m glad to hear there’s progress.

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Is it detachable? Will he wake up to find it’s not in the medicine cabinet and have to buy it back from a vendor on St. Mark’s Place?


All penises are detachable. Attachable is the hard part.


I hope he gets a good one.

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Interviewer: “So, I understand that this isn’t actually the first body you’ve been attached to.”

Penis: “No, I was with another guy before.”

Interviewer: “Really? Why did you leave him?”

Penis: “It was an abusive relationship. (pause) He used to beat me constantly.”

Interviewer: “CUT!”

Penis: “Sorry. What can I say? I guess some of us are just born to do stand-up …”


“DoD-approved” is still a gamble.
You might get the one with laser sights, or you might get the one that stares at goats.


There are also Veteran Administration approved penal implants that restore rigidity. They’ve been around for a long time but I’m not sure how you qualify for one. I did some training in a VA Hospital operating room for six months. Back then all naval surgeons had beards for some reason. Played hell with mask fitting.

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