You can pay $1000 to block annoying noise, filter out bad air, and look silly wearing Dyson's new gadget

I got conned into buying a very expensive Dyson vacuum cleaner. I hate it with the passion of a 1000 burning suns.

11 Likes

“… so you don’t hurt your wrist before you blow your quaff.”

I like that the reviewer puts so much into reviewing the packaging. :heart_eyes: Jeez, an insert tray made from fairly hefty HIPS? :open_mouth:

5 Likes

It’s weird we’re all on the same wavelength with this. So, so, SO silly, and yet let’s get this party started and get everyone wearing cool, futuristic looking headgear.

7 Likes

It is cool, and all; but it tends to attract the wrong type of attention.

5 Likes

Looks like the banana cleaner from the other thread.
Better not get those mixed up, I suppose.

10 Likes

Bluetooth. Everything is better with Bluetooth.

7 Likes

Isn’t producing more delicate and expensive variations on proletarian goods that your target market isn’t all that familiar with in order to aim upmarket a fairly well established tradition at this point?

1 Like

It’s a Dyson - it’ll be made of an infinite number of tiny plastic pieces that will inevitably break when you look at it the wrong way and be impossible to replace. The supposedly incredible motors will sound like a 747 revving up for take-off, be audible half a mile away and last a few months and the battery will die at regular intervals for no readily apparent reason. Meanwhile, Brexiteer James Dyson will be whinging about Britain not bending to his despite moving much of his operations to Singapore - though he will inevitably promise to soon release an electric car.

(Recovering Dyson vacuum cleaner user).

15 Likes

You say “look silly” and I say I’ve never in my life expected to like the idea of looking like Optimus Prime.

transformers GIF

2 Likes

I’ve had several Dyson vacuum cleaners and never had any issues with parts breaking or poor suction. I wouldn’t pay full price but on sale they are not too bad.

Maybe I’m just an outlier but I don’t have a major problem with the vacuum. The mask is stupid though - what stopped them from including N95 level protection. Maybe that’s the next model.

5 Likes

If it doesn’t meet N95 standards, I wonder what the use-case they thought they were making this for. I suspect it’s just meant to be bought by people with a lot of disposable income to help them dispose of it.

4 Likes

Cities with bad air quality, I assume.

They probably started work on it before COVID and have a hard time selling it now that everyone expects it to stop viruses.

8 Likes

My issue with Dyson vacuums is they are very user-unfriendly. The cord is unwieldy, the canister needs constant emptying before it’s full, the body and handle are made with cheap plastic and the fucking thing falls over just looking at wrong. I’m constantly fighting with it just to get it to lock in its upright position. It has decent suction but it’s not worth the extravagant price tag.

8 Likes
6 Likes

I expect to see this in the BoingBoing ads in a couple months, now with breathless praise spoken in a too-informal voice that assumes it knows my needs and brings to mind a guidance counselor sitting backwards on a chair because they think it makes them look cool and relatable.

7 Likes

Or, as Naomi Wu calls it, The Dyson snot cannon. It not only does not filter exhaled air, it actively spreads it. It’s the ultimate in selfish masking, and probably still doesn’t filter any better than an N95.

This is such a stupid project because a real powered respirator for consumers use is much needed. Industrial powered air purifying respirators are extremely expensive and outside of the price range of consumers, costing in some cases over $2,000. Unfortunately, Dyson, with its overpriced crap is exactly the wrong company to make an effective consumer respiratory protection gadget that’s affordable. And with their past history of making bathroom germ spreading super cannons that they call air blades, they also have plenty of experience in irresponsibly aerosolizing germs in the name of innovation.

Like Razor, Dyson decided that it should ignore established respiratory protection knowledge thinking that they know better, but instead produced an inferior product with a very high price. They should have improved existing designs rather than trying to out innovate for the sake of innovating.

9 Likes

ezgif.com-gif-maker

4 Likes

Of course it would incorporate vape cartridges. Controlled by your smart phone.

8 Likes

Where do I load the weed?

2 Likes