Your Favorite All-Natural Bullshit

Petroleum Jelly is fucking amazing. We got a big-ass tub of it for $2, and it’s replaced a lot of other products in which it was just listed as a lowly substrate. Since then, neither my lips nor my baby’s butt have been chapped for even a day (related, but separate occurrences).

I also get really dry skin, and I asked my derm for a lotion recommendation, and he said “as long as it has glycerin in it. Everything else is window dressing.” I’ve saved a lot of money and scritchin’ since that day.

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And deluded.

Hate to say “favourite,” but: Pox Parties!

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To make it they start with a high concentration of worms, then repeatedly dilute it down until the worms are all gone.

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Even more hilarious- http://www.glutenfreemakeupgal.com/featured/gluten-free-nail-art-jamberry-nails

“As a quick note, Jamberry Nails is not a 100% gluten free company.”

Getting kicked out of a MLM “party” is win-win, no matter how many weak “margaritas” they offer you.

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I had no idea that was still a thing! It was common when I was a small child, but I thought it had died after vaccines became available. On the other hand, it works, so there’s that.

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However, pediatricians have warned against holding pox parties, citing dangers arising from possible complications associated with chicken pox, such as encephalitis, chickenpox-associated pneumonia, and invasive group A strep.[3][5] Although such complications are not common, they can cause brain damage or death. Before the chickenpox vaccine became available there were 100 to 150 deaths from chickenpox among children in the U.S. annually.

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Pft I’d have stayed for weak margaritas. It was a Facebook party, so it was just “answer stupid trivia questions and buy shit.”

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Vaccines work objectively better, but I’m sure you’re not arguing there.

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