A Sousaphone.
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You must be a blast on camping trips!
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Most popular guy in bear country.
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$195? It must save lives, floss your teeth and make coffee at that price!
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That’s the main reason I don’t own one.
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I took wild camping to mean not camping at designated campsites:
Which could still encompass a broad range of camping styles.
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A bear-to-English dictionary is always helpful.
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The Kindling Cracker but not one of the cheap knock offs out there, the original.
That thing is awesome.
In 2018 the New Zealand Postal Service issued a stamp to pay tribute to Ayla and her ingenious invention.
It’s worth every penny considering what a trip to the ER costs to sew a finger back on. I’ve got the XL and can fill up 4 or 5 five gallon pails with kindling in a few minutes.
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I actually did an image search for tactical sousaphone but didn’t come up with anything 
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I bet you could brew coffee with that thing!
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A few things I’d recommend as someone who spends a decent amount of time outdoors:
- A good knife
- A good lighter (anything that reliably makes fire)
- A zippo handwarmer (they’re great for getting rid of that deep chill)
- A good small camp stove (I got a jetboil style stove last christmas and I love it!)
- A good backpack (there’s nothing worse than using a crappy backpack)
- A good little survival kit (more a novelty than a serious thing, but still kinda useful as a just in case)
- A first aid kit
Edit: Didn’t mean to use the word “good” so much, but quality makes a huge difference with outdoors gear. It doesn’t have to be top of the line, but at least a step above the cheapest stuff.
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A camouflaged sousaphone, for when you’re trying to be discreet.
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I said PIANISSIMO, private!
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How about flaming bagpipes?
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