That’s a good one, too.
6 Likes
Depends on how far north. In Chicago, it’s “ya bum!” In Detroit it’s “Bite me!” In Minnesota, it’s “You betcha! Come on back and let me show you my new wood chipper…”
8 Likes
“I’ll pray for you”
7 Likes
Reply: “Nothing fails like prayer”
6 Likes
Well, when it comes to Seals & Crofts tunes, I prefer “We May Never Pass This Way (Again).” 
You do you, though! 
6 Likes
Usually if I’m angry it’s pretty obvious, so I try to make people aware that I’m not angry at them, specifically. It’s trickier if I am actually angry at a specific person since yelling at them rarely produces useful results.
3 Likes
In med school we called them “gunners”
But the “questions that aren’t questions but attempts to show off” or “questions that really should be asked face to face but I want the attention of the group” as annoying as fuck.
my other favorite is “The group was asked for a specific piece of information so I will supply a distantly related piece of information because I want to participate so badly I don’t care if I waste everyone’s time”. Example:
“does anyone have a wrench?”
“I have a screwdriver”
2 Likes
Ah yes much better described than I did: the “instead of merely not contributing, I am now actively wasting the group’s time”
1 Like
“You’re becoming too emotional” - no, I’m just annoyed that you don’t give a shit
“That’s not my job” - when it is their job
“Can you knock this out before the weekend?” - sent at 4:50pm on Friday
“Lets take care of the low hanging fruit” - in any context
7 Likes
find a second screwdriver and you can improvise a wrench.
3 Likes
4 Likes
As a Midwesterner, I feel like our passive aggressiveness is underrepresented in this map
4 Likes
Stealing this!
3 Likes
“Wid all due respect.”
2 Likes
The filmmaker and internet archivist Jason Scott famously starts his Q&A sessions with “I will now take questions not in the form of a story about yourself”. It’s surprisingly effective at weeding out the people who just want to stand and make the moment about them. That phrasing seems to get people to think about whether they really have a question because now they know the audience is judging them based on that criteria. Most people don’t get outside their heads long enough to consider the group in that situation, and this setup seems to disrupt that pattern pretty well. It’s also fucking hilarious when he says it.
8 Likes
“Think of it as a learning experience.”
(We had buttons made: “Oh no! Not another learning experience!”)
8 Likes
Around here we use “anyway,” like Tamasin (we are the New England, after all ) but also, “Okaaaaay,” drawn out with this inflection of surprise, disapproval, and a question. I don’t use it because I find it so annoying, but it’s not uncommon. So, not quite like “bless your heart,” because that one comes across fake-sweet, but it might be the best we have.
9 Likes
Ah, the qualifying and/or “eraser” phrases (like “no offense” @beschizza mentioned) can be terrible - or terribly funny! Here’s Dom Irrera with a classic example: 
I used to write work emails full of backhanded compliments or thinly veiled disdain for management practices, just to close with “Sincerely.”
“Whatever” is the annoying verbal slap from younglings in the Mid-Atlantic states, depending on how it is drawn out. Hearing someone say, “What-ev-eer, or What-ever!” really gets on my nerves - especially if there’s a simultaneous sigh or eye roll! 
7 Likes
This topic was automatically closed after 5 days. New replies are no longer allowed.
