Also, the “authorities were coming”.
Because that is always comforting when the victims are part of an oppressed group, riiiiight? That’s hilarious.
You continue to blame the victim, with every comment, and each comment gets worse.
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hello, gay man here, one who has been bullied and harassed in public situations many times over my 46 years on this planet. my only assertion here is that i know from experience that when there is a sudden, heated situation, there are ways to deal with it without throwing more fuel on it. that is all. i didn’t say she should “sit around silently and take it” – there are ways to confront without resorting to insults and yelling, that’s all.
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When dealing with belligerent people, there is such thing as not helping the situation. Often, the best way to deal with these situations is to let them have their tantrum off in the corner by themselves (when possible), or to the best of your ability not engage them. The thing about biggots and the belligerent is that your well reasoned argument is not going to sway them. They’re still going to be douchecanoes.
We are armchair quarterbacking this, not trying to “blame the victim.” The two biggots are no less in the wrong.
I also really wanted to use the word douchecanoes.
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Of course, everyone should have cool heads when antagonized by jerks and if they don’t well they’re equally to blame.
Hey, what was the point of the expletive you dropped there there? Calm down MAN, cooler heads, right? Amirite eh? Eh?
Wow. You keep going and going and going and digging your hills in further.
You still have yet to focus on the actual harassers, you know that? Not once.
Your victim blaming bias is clear.
You also keep just repeating the same victim blaming bullshit as if you’re saying something new each time.
Oh, and yeah. “Holy shit.” You’re totally calm, right? Oh. It’s okay if you’re the one silencing and cursing at those trying to explain to you that victim blaming is shitty, but heaven forbid someone being harassed and threatened gets angry.
Your emotional outburst = fine. The emotions of the harassed and oppressed = escalating the situation. Do you not see a problem with that?
Do you see any nuance between “not helping the situation” and “equally to blame”?
Just 'cuz you’re gay doesn’t mean you know what you’re talking about. Queer lady, here. I didn’t pull out that card because it’s not relevant. Plenty of women are misogynist, victim-blaming asssholes, too.
It just makes it even sadder that you continue to blame the victim.
You have YET to concentrate on the actual bigots and harassers, here. Each of your comments focuses on what the victim has done wrong. Very, very telling.
You’re essentially saying, “Yeah, the victims didn’t do anything wrong, BUT!”
“Yes, but” statements are not helpful, they do not add to the discussion, and they almost always put the focus on the victim rather than the assailant. You may want to do some research on the “yes, but” thing. It’s a real thing and YOU KEEP DOING IT.
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Is there any nuance between “don’t go outside ever and you won’t get raped, ladies!” and “equally to blame”?
I’d say … nope.
Often, the best way to deal with these situations is to let them have
their tantrum off in the corner by themselves (when possible), or to
the best of your ability not engage them.
Holy crap. You are really, really ignorant about this stuff and really need to stop speaking as if you have some authority because a lot of what you’re saying is dangerous.
One time I tried to ignore a misogynist asshole and he didn’t like that so much. He followed me and got even angrier, instead.
The thing about biggots and the belligerent is that your well reasoned
argument is not going to sway them. They’re still going to be
douchecanoes.
The thing about bigots is that they aren’t generally nice, calm people who are going to react the way you would be to someone ignoring you. You just really need to stop.
Oh, they WILL, huh? Heh.
You have way more faith in our legal system than I do.
BTW, this is a PERFECT example of a “Yes, but” statement.
point made. i am human, after all, and i’m still learning. holy shit was an expression of surprise on my end, btw - not made out of anger.
i’m sorry you view the world in such a one-or-the-other fashion. it’s just not that way. good day to you.
Because aside from followers of Fred Phelps, no one thinks that in any way that the actions of those clowns was acceptable. I think that we are past the point in time that when you hear vile like that, it’s even worth arguing that they’re wrong. It’s like talking about race relations; once someone starts using the n-word in the conversation, they’ve lost all credibility and sense of respectability. You might as well walk away.
So is there any way to reduce the risk of awful things happening while still fully holding the guilty party accountable? Stating things like not feeding the trollies or not leaving your drink unattended or not walking home alone through the bad part of town are good ideas; it in no way excuses the actions of the biggot, rapist, or mugger. Bad shit happens. Try and reduce that risk where you can.
Well, that’s civil.
I’m sorry that happened. It doesn’t always work, but you can’t get stabby every time someone is a jerk. So you’re on that subway and the guy is yelling homophobic crap at you… what do you do?
Do you get paid every time you type out “victim blaming”?
Step back a second and realise that no one in this situation did the tight thing. Yes the victims in this situation were provoked into a response, but there is such a thing as being the bigger man in a given situation. Getting “all up in his face” as it were does no one any favours and if the situation had turned physical, then the escalation added by the reactions of the victims in this case would just make it that much more difficult to figure out what actually happened.
I would call that “enabling”.
Moderator note:
Compose yourselves, please.
Enabling them would be giving them more attention.
(Edit: in the generic situation where no one is in immediate physical danger, not necessarily the situation in the video)
