Because keeping our heads down and pretending that homophobia doesn’t exist worked so well for all those centuries.
The reason why some people get really upset about comments like this is because you are making the victims responsible for preventing the crimes committed against them. “Don’t leave your drink unattended” easily becomes “she was raped because she left her drink unattended” … in other words, part of the fault in the crime lies with the woman because she should have “known better.” I saw so many comments about the Steubenville rape case that argued that she would not have been raped if she had not gotten so drunk.
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You haven’t even bothered to research why your statements are problematic, nor the problems with “yes, but” statements, particularly when it comes to victims of abuse, have you? Also, false “good day” statements make my skin crawl. At least be authentic. And stop fucking victim blaming!
Also, it’s interesting and QUITE TELLING that you are comparing your “assaults” (after “running your mouth off” when drunk), two two men who happen to be gay and are just minding their own business. I only now just thought about this, but this comparison is shitty and you should feel bad. The fact that you seem to be seeing this from ONLY your point of view is quite evident. Have some freakin’ empathy, realize your world does not in any way shape the experiences of anyone else, and stop blaming the victim.
I really don’t think you know what enabling means. Silence is essentially acceptance. If a friend of yours started calling a black man the n-word, would you just sit idly by and ignore your friend? If so, you are enabling his racism, full stop.
“Yes, you are no way to blame for your rape, BUT why were you out so late?”
How many “yes, but” statements will you be coming up with? I get it. You think the victims had some hand in their assault and had they just meekly stepped aside, maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad, jeeezzzz, you homos, why did you speak up? I know it’s not your fault, BUT! why didn’t you just keep your mouths shut?
That is what you’re saying, in a nut shell.
That person would no longer be my friend, because I don’t tend to associate myself with racists.
I am in NO WAY excusing the guy who started this. Clearly HE IS 100% IN THE WRONG.
Would you prefer them to shout back and then the original guy pull a knife? What then? Should they pull a gun and shoot him?
There is a difference between being meek and accepting someone being a shithead and defiance. They went beyond that and were aggressive back. That gets them nowhere. It makes them culpable for the bad situation that existed there. Not as much as him, but through THEIR actions the situation got worse.
Also, stop putting words in my mouth. I REALLY lose respect for people who do that.
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For many of us, being gay is more of a lifestyle thing or a political demographic than a ‘one drop’ sort of situation, though. And, hell, not sure we should be counting rape as sex, either. If raping dudes or boy-children qualified you as gay, just about every conservative institution would be all about upholding our traditional gay values-frats, the military, sports teams, the police, churches, ad infinitem . . .
You’re not surprised that the scenario you made up in your head turned out just how you predicted?
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Please let’s focus on what you said, and not who you are. Nobody is attacking your person, just the accidentally or intentionally offensive thing you said a few times.
We’ll see, I guess. I wouldn’t say that these things get caught in general, no, but this one has enough clout behind it that I am optimistic. One notes, of course, that this clout may be a large part of why it’s featured on boingboing (as well as the msm, btw) in the first place; really, this kind of thing happens all the time and usually no one is the wiser… Just something to consider.
Apart from your rhetoric, what do you suggest should have been done differently? Expecting others to put themselves in harm’s way is not particularly reasonable.
Two very different issues there, predating children involves pre-sexual victims so that’s way off to one side on a completely other dimension to Kinsey. Dude on dude action in our grand institutions, though? Yeah. If humans were sane, the good ol’ boys would be our mightiest guardians of gay rights.
What I was saying is that just as raping children doesn’t count as gay, really rape of adults doesn’t count as gay, either. Least not for most of us who have chosen to be visible members of the lbgttiaq-whatever demographics, many many of us having been raped by straight people in authority. So, while tons of commenters are like ‘OMG ironic, right?’ my point is that raping someone of the same sex is not necessarily going to be seen as proof positive of homosexual orientation and certainly not the political stance that is being an out queer.
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So it’s possible that the other aberrant sexuality is; Rapist, and that it can be powerful enough to override any gender preference. Well, that’s horrifying. I could see that being prevalent in the authoritarian careers.
Well, I’m not 100% sold on anything with regards to this topic because it’s all very hard to parse out and especially touchy, if we’re going with feminist theory here, the idea is that rape is not the expression of sexuality, so having a preference for one sex or another doesn’t speak to sexual orientation, it speaks to the specifics of a rapist’s violence. Growing up, there were those kids who ran around stomping the shit out of homeless dudes. Never heard of them walloping on a homeless lady, so you could say they had a preference for male victims, but you wouldn’t say they were homosexual skinheads.
FWIW, I do think the above over-simplifies things, but as I don’t have enough good data to start making inferences as to same-sex/other-sex rape as correlated to/against sexual orientation.
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