Zoo employee dressed as gorilla shot with tranq dart


#1

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#2

Serves him right, the impostor!


#3

An unemployed guy answers a Help Wanted posting at the zoo. They offered him to dress up in a gorilla’s skin and pretend to be a gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo. On his first day on the job, the guy puts on the skin and goes into the cage. The people all cheer to see him. He starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring. During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage!

As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He’s terrified and starts screaming, “Help, Help!” The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest and whispers, “Shut up or we’ll both lose our jobs!”


#4

At least he wasn’t transporting young gulls across a sedate lion for immoral porpoises.


#5

If that’s an original, you win the Internet today!!! I’m totally laughing


#6

Nope. An old classic.


#7

What you say is largely untrue, but the zoo’s statement is true. The zoo employee was not dressed as a gorilla, and the vet was participating in the exercise when he accidentally tranquillised the employee.


#8

Oh, that is what I was writing just now… you beat me…

Official report in the blog of Loro Parque: http://blog.loroparque.com/comunicado-loro-parque/


#9

Reminds me of that first-season Simpsons episode. (Homer’s slurred response: “Avenge me, boy. Avenge my death.”)


#10

I even googled it and came up empty, so you get a few originality points anyways despite your modesty!!


#11

I saw this story a few days ago and was surprised it took this long, definitely a happy or funny mutant story.

Reminds me of a story from the 30’s Depression era New York
An actor famous in the Yiddish theatre scene down on his luck had been turned away from auditions for months, there was one job opening that he walked away from though, he was to proud to do that. The gorilla in the local zoo had died, the zoo ticket sales had dropped off as kids loved the scary gorilla and there was no budget for a new one in addition to the expensive banana diet. After thinking overnight he swallowed his pride and went back taking the job.
At first he, a gifted actor, was depressed sitting on his log while the kids screamed and tried to bait him. After a few days he snapped growling like a mad ape and jumping trying to catch the nasty kids, the management heard and congratulated him, turns out the kids loved shrieking in terror.
Our ape man began to enjoy terrorizing the nasty kids, he also got into capering around and doing tricks for the nice ones.
One day he is doing tricks, swinging on the ropes and tire swing; he swings so hard he missed the ledge and sailed into the next exhibit.
Bruised and dazed he looked up to see a lion approaching. Knowing this was the end he said loud and clear the words every good Jew is taught to have on their lips when they are sure life is at an end, “Shema Yisrael Adonai Elihanu Adonai Echad”(tr:listen Israel God is God, God is singular).  
Then a miracle worthy of the prophet Daniel occurred, the lion stood up on his hind legs on hearing these holy words and to the actors surprise spoke the traditional Hebrew response, “Baruch Shem Cavod Malcoto Laolam Vaed”(tr:blessed is the name(God’s) of importance and kingship for ever).
Even more surprising than the lifesaving miracle though was the bear in the exhibit across the path who poked his head into view and shouted “Shut up you shmucks! are you trying to get us all fired?!”


#12

I learned the punchline as:

Transporting young gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.

In that version, the porpoises were not purposefully procreating, but rather, ageless and in need of a highly exotic diet.


#13

Damn, I typed too slow.


#14

Why isn’t the Jewish version as funny? Cuz I’m a goy?


#15

No, I wreck most jokes I tell, too many details.
I always liked the mental image of the bear popping up his head and calling everyone shmucks.

Interesting translation titbit, goy literally means nation, as in that guy is a member of the nations.
What is weird is that English has a special word, gentile, for a not-jew. While I think most languages have a word for not-us few have a special word for not that country including us and all other nations, do we have a word for non-English or non-Russian?


#16

“Zoo employee shot in error while dressed as a gorilla” .

I understand it’s quite painful to be shot in the error.


#17

The source link at the bottom of the article just links to the Boing Boing article.


#18

Could be worse for the poor guy…


#19

Al Franken?! Heeeee. Bonus: AND Davis :slight_smile:


#20

Ter’ist