Badass Space Dragon 2.0 - Registration

A closer reading of the instructions led me to believe I might need a sharpie® drawing to get the bonus:

7 Likes

Vessel Information

1.) Name of vessel: SLS Say Monkey
2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship: Durable
3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:

A little of this,
A fair amount of that and
Lots of the other

Captain Information
4.) Full Name: Captain Information… but you knew that already. Interesting.
5.) Identity Class: Space Lobster
6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N) Of course not. All these legs are my own.

Signing Bonus

7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus? Immediately. Let’s get this party started.
8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase? We space lobsters don’t believe in half measures. All in.

5 Likes

Harumph.

Given that yous a Space Moose, I guess you deserve forgiveness for not knowing the finer history of Earth-That-Was.

Listen, calf, the Black Lectroids showed such strong solidarity in defense of their homeworld that they were willing to commit genocide on all humans by detonating nukes. That puts them on the same side as Rooskies.

To their credit, the Black Lectroids were willing to let the Hong Kong Cavileers do their dirty work, and that’s as opportunistic as it comes.

Now, them Red Lectroids…Evil. Pure and simple.

3 Likes

Your sympathies for your homeworld are clouding your economic analysis. Certainly it was the humans who free’d the red lectroids and were given a reasonable solution and timeline for cleaning up that mess by the black lectroids. The actors who created the problem are responsible for the cost in pure libertarian fashion. A little preventative genocide in order to stop a far greater menace is clearly a greater good.

That clip does bring to light a new theory that Tony Soprano whose escapades were duly enshrined in the miserable annals of the earth-that-was may have been part of a remaining rogue pod of red lectroids originally targetted by the black lectroid space force.

As for calling me a calf; I’ve shed more racks than you’ve changed space diapers.

4 Likes
  • Vessel Information *

    1.) Name of vessel:Flying Chemex___________________

    2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship:
    Lucky

    3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:

    Coffee making
    For you
    And the borgs

Captain Information

4.) Full Name:_Lorem Ipsum____________________ 

5.) Identity Class: Human
    [Human, Space Lizard, Space Lobster, Space Moose]

6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N) y

Signing Bonus

7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus?

Wait.

8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase?

30%
8 Likes

Part of many crews
Signed on to many a ship
Only Jacques remains

The Entropy, the last operating ship of the Entropy-class scout cruisers, now eponymous with its class. While normally requiring a 78-person crew to operate, the former captain and chief engineer built a card based command interface called TAROT which allows full operation of the ship (if somewhat poorly) from a single console. This proved fortuitous, as the first test of the TAROT system ended in a disaster that left all of the crew, save third mate Jacques, dead or lost in space.

The Entropy-class itself, and the Entropy in particular, have a wide-spread reputation in the galaxy for being, despite being reasonably well built, extremely unlucky.

“Captain” Jacques Malchance: Human, Unaugmented

Deferred bonus: cannot afford any grease.

9 Likes

Only 2 things EVER threatened crossing the Northern Border of Pax Americana.

Socialized Medicine. And Moose.

7 Likes

Well, our terran branch did have those Canadians fooled, eh?

2 Likes
                             -----------------------
                               Unizone Corporation
                             -----------------------

                            General Services Contract


* Vessel Information *

    1.) Name of vessel:_USSS Rustbucket______ 

    2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship: Decrepit

    3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:

         I haven't worked in haiku before, but have over 73 years experience in space limericks.  I am a quick study, however, and willing to learn.

*Captain Information*

    4.) Full Name:_Zaphod Tiberius Skywalker_____________ 

    5.) Identity Class:
        Space sLobster

    6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N)

        Y, I'm a quarter cyborg on my father's side.

*Signing Bonus*

    7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus?

       I'll take my bonus in the form of stellar grog.

    8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase?

      However much I haven't consumed by the time we get to that part of the game.

... And you get a re-roll on your lowest stat if you include a sharpie sketch of your spaceship.

9 Likes

Only 67 hours into registration! This is already shaping up to be one hell of a show!

3 Likes

Space Pirate Captain Harlock?

Is that you?

I never thought I’d have the pleasure of meeting you.

-David Falkayn,
captain of the Muddlin’ Through

1 Like

1HMS Gargle Blaster
2)durable
3)
Master Hoopy Frood
Did my own brain surgery
Gargle blaster NOW

4)Zaphod Bollocks Beeblebrox
5)Space Moose
6)yes
7)Deferred
8)all

5 Likes
  1. Name of Vessel: Cosmosword (Cosmo Sword, not Cosmo’s Word, that’s another ship). A rare moosecam shot of the Cosmosword: https://www.dropbox.com/s/rn3qol7d9yfpwps/Cosmosword.jpg

  2. Ship is FAST.

  3. Haiku:

Light Speed Drive Runs Hot
Cargo of Ludicrous Size
Kill, Cosmosword, Kill!

  1. Captain 2nd Class Browf Clamphoof

  2. Space Moose

  3. Not classified 20% Cyborg, but coming close: 18%

  4. Debts to pay. Large ones. Browf wait.

  5. 0.005 bits to spice the RNG.

7 Likes

I’m sure you have me confused, sir.

The name’s Watford Gap. Never heard of this ‘Harlock’. But whoever he is I’m sure he wouldn’t like being called a pirate. I suspect he’s just a misunderstood legitimate businessman.

1 Like

I’ve been dragooned!

6 Likes

Fine, Fine, Mr. Gap. But you don’t dress like you’re from Northhampton

Welcome aboard, good Sir!

I look forward to a mutually profitable working relationship.

-David Falkayn,
Captain of Muddlin’ Through

2 Likes

I should hope not.

7 Likes

Sssay… that high-tension resonance array… a quad-tone? Lookssss awfully modern.

Wouldn’t be I.C.U.P. issue, would it? Coalition forcesss aren’t ssso popular in thisss sssector.

You might want to invessst in a sssomewhat lessss Imperial color ssscheme at the next shipyard.

Jussst sssayin’.

4 Likes
                         -----------------------
                           Unizone Corporation
                         -----------------------

                        General Services Contract


* Vessel Information *

1.) Name of vessel: The USGFP Startlingly Improbable Series of Coincidences

2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship:
    [Sneaky, Fast, Powerful, Durable, Lucky]: 
    Superluminous

3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:
Death stood behind us
Activate the chronosphere
Time a flat circle

*Captain Information*

4.) Full Name:  Hashtag T. Weeter

5.) Identity Class:
    [Human, Space Lizard, Space Lobster, Space Moose]
Human. Yes, that's right, he said looking around shiftily, human, he repeated forgetting he had taken the de-subvocalization pill.

6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N)
N

*Signing Bonus*

7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus?
Deferred.

8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase?
Enormous percentage.

10 Likes