Badass Dragon Scavengers of the Void - Registration


#1
 ______         _____            _      _    
(____  \   /\  (____ \   /\     | |    | |   
 ____)  ) /  \  _   \ \ /  \     \ \    \ \  
|  __  ( / /\ \| |   | / /\ \     \ \    \ \ 
| |__)  ) |__| | |__/ / |__| |_____) )____) )
|______/|______|_____/|______(______(______/
 _____   ______          ______  _____  ______ 
(____ \ (_____ \   /\   / _____)/ ___ \|  ___ \ 
 _   \ \ _____) ) /  \ | /  ___| |   | | |   | |
| |   | (_____ ( / /\ \| | (___) |   | | |   | |
| |__/ /      | | |__| | \____/| |___| | |   | |
|_____/       |_|______|\_____/ \_____/|_|   |_|
    _     ______      _    _ _______ ______   ______ _______ ______     _ 
   | |   / _____)  /\| |  | (_______)  ___ \ / _____|_______|_____ \   | |
    \ \ | /       /  \ |  | |_____  | |   | | /  ___ _____   _____) )   \ \
     \ \| |      / /\ \ \/ /|  ___) | |   | | | (___)  ___) (_____ (     \ \
 _____) ) \_____| |__| \  / | |_____| |   | | \____/| |_____      | |_____) )
(______/ \______)______|\/  |_______)_|   |_|\_____/|_______)     |_(______/
  _____  _______    _______ _     _ _______    _    _  _____ _____ _____   
 / ___ \(_______)  (_______) |   | (_______)  | |  | |/ ___ (_____|____ \ 
| |   | |_____      _      | |__ | |_____     | |  | | |   | | _   _   \ \  
| |   | |  ___)    | |     |  __)| |  ___)     \ \/ /| |   | || | | |   | |
| |___| | |        | |_____| |   | | |_____     \  / | |___| || |_| |__/ /
 \_____/|_|         \______)_|   |_|_______)     \/   \_____(_____)_____/

Wait a minute, what’s all this then?

Another BBS door game in the spirit of Badass Space Dragon - now with even more tropes and bot accounts. Let’s sign up for a tour on a deep space salvage vessel! What could possibly go wrong?

The game is entirely playable with 10 minutes per week of effort. Previous players will tell you that the upper limit is only bounded by the imagination of the players involved.

Is it cool that I’ve never played in one of these before?

Totally cool. No previous experience required and those that have played before will not have any sort of advantage over newcomers. We’re just looking to create more stories in the galaxy of Charybdis that @patrace has graciously made available to the public domain.

Launch Schedule

Registrations are due by 2300 UTC on Monday, Jan. 16th and the first missions will be available shortly thereafter. Unless otherwise indicated, mission updates will posted weekly according to the following schedule:

  1. Orders are due every Sunday by 2300 UTC (first turn deadline on Sun Jan 22)
  2. A 24 hour window for the GM to validate the results
  3. Results of the previous turn and new missions posted by Monday 2300 UTC

Total run time no more than 12 turns.

##Registration Desk
You arrive at the NeoTarsus Job Fair to find a single shabby booth staffed by two smiling humans. The cheerfully-colored banner behind the booth reads:

“With recent the regulatory changes regarding Autonomous Intellects in the galaxy of Charybdis, the market is hungry for the sort of talent that only organic entities can provide. Let us impress you with this amazing opportunity!”

You’re in dire enough straits that this sounds like the chance you’ve been looking for. Let that sink in for a moment. Now grab a clipboard.

Name: 

Race: 
    [ ] Space Human
    [ ] Space Lizard
    [ ] Space Moose
    [ ] Space Lobster
    [ ] Other (explain)

Preferred training format:
    [ ] SpaceTube Videos
    [ ] Hands-on demonstrations
    [ ] Implanted memories
    [ ] Interpretive dance
    [ ] Lecture hall, midterm, and final exam
    [ ] Waive the recommended training sequence (explain)

Background check (optional)
Tell us a little bit about yourself and why you've chosen to apply today!

X 

Accepted applicants will be stationed aboard the next outbound deep salvage 
vessel. While on board, applicants will receive their preferred training regimen, 
private quarters, and sufficient nutrition to sustain all life functions in exchange
for services provided.‡

‡ You skim the fine print. Everything looks like fine print. This must be a high-quality outfit you’re signing up with.

If you choose to fill out the background check, you will receive a re-roll on your lowest stat.

Welcome aboard!tm

Related threads:
The Mess of the Coleridge is thataway - a shuttle will take you there as soon as you register.


Badass Dragon Scavengers of the Void - pregame
StarFOX News
Badass Dragon Scavengers of the Void - pregame
Badass Dragon Scavengers of the Void - Round 1 - Milk Run
Door Game Meta Topic
#2

Can’t wait to get my hoofs on a new ships, nothing better that getting to know a new ride. Yeah, don’t ask what happened to the last one…or the one before that…or…

Background check: Well I prefer not to look at my back ground too often, it seems to be a bit of a stinkpile. I may not be the oldest moose, the craftiest moose, or the wisest moose, but I can fly a ship. And those last two, well, I know it is hard to believe it isn’t the fault of the pilot, but the Wicked Wazoo I was engineering full rack on to keep it space worthy while flying at the same time, the owner knew it was a four moose job being handled by just me. And the jalopy before that…we…let’s just say I was still getting over the loss of some deep space relations with a cask of honeywine. So I’m turning over a new leaf and Charybdis sounds like just the spot to do it.


#3

Name: Spike Greenarm

Race:
[ ] Space Human
[ ] Space Lizard
[ ] Space Moose
[ ] Space Lobster
[x] Other (explain) Space Cactus

Preferred training format:
[ ] SpaceTube Videos
[ ] Hands-on demonstrations
[x] Implanted memories
[ ] Interpretive dance
[ ] Lecture hall, midterm, and final exam
[ ] Waive the recommended training sequence (explain)

Background check (optional)
Tell us a little bit about yourself and why you’ve chosen to apply today!

I can be a bit prickly, which can get me into trouble (I’ve also been told not to drink too much). Last time, I was told that if I wanted to see another sunrise and not end up in the slammer, I’d best get out of the system. So here I am. Just looking for somewhere to plant myself and earn a few spacebux. I ain’t too good with the book smarts, but I’m strong and I can work hard. And I like to fight.


#4

Name: Coccinea Machinamentum Ornatus

Race: [ ] Space Human [ ] Space Lizard [ ] Space Moose [ ] Space Lobster [X] Other (explain) - Mechanical Space Banana

Although comprised on discrete gears springs and other mechanical connectors, I am fully ambulatory, non-perishable, and possess a Type 3 intelligence on the Chiquita-Turing scale. I am fully autonomous and in possession of perhaps more self-ownership documents than anybody else. I am not edible, for most definitions of “edible”, nor am I susceptible to the Brown Blotch, Cigar-End, Crown-Rot or any other known digital Musaceaenoid vector (since I am not digital). I am considered an Organic Entity (non-digital) for purposes of law, although the majority of my components are replaceable, separately, without loss of consciousness, identity, or memory.

Preferred training format: [ ] SpaceTube Videos [ ] Hands-on demonstrations [X] Implanted memories [X] Interpretive dance [ ] Lecture hall, midterm, and final exam [ ] Waive the recommended training sequence (explain)

Background check (optional) Tell us a little bit about yourself and why you've chosen to apply today!

Most mechanical bananas are sessile, preferring a quiet life of tick-tocking contemplation on the clockwork plantation of choice. Although studious and devout as a youth with a refined appreciation for divers arts, I lit out for the space territories once I completed my Gear-Levels (fully-toothed) and received my monocle and hat. The spats and cane were awarded for various services I am not at liberty to divulge at this time, but the aftermath of which do necessitate the procurement of employment at this time with a reputable, if discreet, employer. The gloves I wear purely for the sake of modesty.

As regards training, while I do enjoy a patriotic ballet or martial tap-dance, if time does not permit I contain all standard pan-galactic ports for communication with the proper handshake protocols.

Speaking of handshakes, I am also undecim digitis, and have sometimes been known to intimates as “Sixfinger Moe”:

It comes with a variety of attachments which aid in communication, defense, offense, entertainment, and the minute investigation of unknown environs down to the Planck length whether illuminated, enshrouded, exposed to vacuum or entombed in various strata.


I also speak the binary language of load lifters and moisture vaporators, and am conversant with a wide variety of humor appropriate for occasions such as smokers, roasts, steak dinners, bar mitzvahs and retirement parties:

Shi: Knock-knock!
Bo: Who’s there?
Shi: Princess.
Bo: Princess who?
Shi: Tricked you - it’s a princess poop!
(source)


StarFOX News
#5

Name: Mark Watney

Race:
[X] Space Human
[ ] Space Lizard
[ ] Space Moose
[ ] Space Lobster
[ ] Other (explain)

Preferred training format:
[ ] SpaceTube Videos
[ ] Hands-on demonstrations
[ ] Implanted memories
[ ] Interpretive dance
[ ] Lecture hall, midterm, and final exam
[X] Waive the recommended training sequence (explain)

Background check (optional)
They say that experience is the best teacher, and I’m here to tell you that teachers are also the best experiences. You want salvage on a barren planet with no life forms with limited resources and impossible odds? You’ll find my picture next to that definition in Spaceapedia. You put me someplace on, say, Mars, and I’ll find you every lander that ever landed and jack that shit. I’ll scour that planet for anything mechanical and bring it along in something else I’ve stolen and am using without any training. Or support. Or even OXYGEN.

Okay, that last bit might be a stretch, but this one time, on Mars, I totally was the World’s Best Scavenger. I mean, I was amazing. The entire crew marooned me, left me for dead, and I survived. I’m a survivor, see. A survivor who scavenges on Mars. MARS! The GOD OF WAR!

So, you might find others who have more experience on, say, other planets or dimensions or whatever, people/moose/lobsters who skim a planet, taking a thing or two but really leaving a lot of great stuff buried, say, under a few feet under Martian sand. But buddy/sir/ma’am/hoofed/clawmistress I’m here to tell you, if you’re looking for that deep-dive scavenger, the one willing to spend, say, 550 sols really squeezing the most out of the opportunities of a planet, you’ll want me. I have been there, done that, scavenged the tee shirt, stolen a space ship.

Regards,
Mark Watney, Space Pirate, Wanted On 12 Systems


#6

Name: Texxx Assss. (Damn) Texxxx Ass (Sonofabitch!) Texxxxasssssnc89e2j%^Kp&!#@!! (No! I don’t lissssp, the goddamned S and X keysss are ssssticking!)

Race:
[ ] Space Human
[XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX] Space Lizard (sssssee?!)
[ ] Space Moose
[ ] Space Lobster
[ ] Other (explain)

Preferred training format:
[ ] SpaceTube Videos (Who’s got time for watchin’ cartoons?)
[Q] Hands-on demonstrations (Learn by doin’, that’s how I was hatched.)
[ ] Implanted memories (Hell, no. No more implantations. Look what happened to Sssir Galaxxxy.)
[ ] Interpretive dance (Watchin’ a buncha sissies flail around in their longjohns? Nossir.)
[ ] Lecture hall, midterm, and final exam (Do I look like a toothless, eggheaded academic to you? That’s no way to learn the bloody art of scavengin’. Red of fang and dewclaw. That’s what we are.)
[ ] Waive the recommended training sequence (explain) (Hell, I’m tempted, but I got some time to kill before the ship lifts. Otherwise I’d just spend the week in the head, evacuatin’ the ol’ cloaca and runnin’ out of comic books to read. Train away.)

Background check (optional)
Tell us a little bit about yourself and why you’ve chosen to apply today!

Name’s Tex Ass (sonofawhore!), mercenary, gadabout, and ssscavenger-for-hire. Former podiatrissst back in PaleoTarsus over Mars way, got run outta town for sssome forgettable misssunderssstanding involving the sssixth wife of the crater-mayor and took to the freelance ssspacer life. Generally sssuits us Sssspace Lizardsss. Anyway, an old AstroFaxx missssive from my favorite nessst-brother Cap’n Ssskipper convinced me that Charybdisss is where it’s at, ssso once I managed to forge enough StarBucks from my cellmate’s gold fillings to make bail, I headed right over to NeoTarsus to sssee if prossspects might not be preferable to what I left behind in the crater.

Guess Ssskipper’s info is a mite outdated now. (Wish I had more cellmates with crappier dental hygiene, but you go to war with the army you got, don’tcha? Say, how tight are your fillings?) Charybdis is a big goddamned bust, as far as I can tell. The civil war appearss to have drained everyone’ss walletsss. Even piracy’s been nothin’ more’n a waste of gas, so far.

Ssscavengin’, huh? Did it before, made a decent profit, didn’t lose any limbs that couldn’t grow back, anyway. Remember the O’Mortson? Went out for sssalvage, came back packed with insatiably bloodthirsssty xenos? Yeah. I was on that gig. Came away with jack shit when it came to sssalvage, but I sssold the xenos to the military R&D guys and ssscrapped what was left of the O’Mortson. After payin’ the funeral bills of the ressst of the crew, I was ssstill ahead a couple hunnerd SssstarBucksss and one giant felinoid XO name of Lt. Jones.

Well, we burned through them SsstarBucksss pretty damn fassst, and rent ain’t cheap out here in Charybdisss. We got nothin’ elssse goin’ on, now. Right, Jonesy?

No, I guessss we don’t.


#7
Name: Vi Locke

Race: 
    [x] Space Human
    [ ] Space Lizard
    [ ] Space Moose
    [ ] Space Lobster
    [ ] Other (explain)

Preferred training format:
    [ ] SpaceTube Videos
    [x] Hands-on demonstrations
    [ ] Implanted memories
    [ ] Interpretive dance
    [ ] Lecture hall, midterm, and final exam
    [ ] Waive the recommended training sequence (explain)

Background check (optional)
Tell us a little bit about yourself and why you've chosen to apply today!

Look, I’m qualified. Can we just skip this bit? You know I can fix up just about anything that hasn’t disintegrated into dust. I just… well I just need to get out of here. NOW.


#8

[After a cursory review of the applications, the smaller human waves to @rkt88edmo @daneel @OtherMichael @SteampunkBanana @Donald_Petersen and @gwwar]

“Well! Everything certainly seems in order. Why don’t you take the next shuttle on up to the Coleridge and get settled in? We’ll send up the rest of the recruits as soon as we finish processing their applications.”


#9

Name: Quirky Kumquat (Yes, That Quirky Kumquat.)

Race:

 [X] Space Lizard

Preferred training format:

[X] Interpretive dance

Background check (optional)
Tell us a little bit about yourself and why you’ve chosen to apply today!

After a modicum of success elsewhere in Charybdis, The crew of my vessel, The Somewhat Broken Heart, disembarked to set up their own Profit-Tunity ™ franchises. While I was moping, the ship’s twirly reproduced (who knew???), and the added drive from the baby twirlies sent me waaaaaay off course at unsafe vector and distance. Having just sold off the last twirly pup, - (they are SOOOOOOOO cute!) - I find myself in an uncharacteristic form-filling-out mood. Which works out great for both of us, see?


#10

hi… no no no, HI! err, oh lord,

sigh

ahem, Hi! oh glob…

Uh, kinda, umm, Hi, yeah, I’m curious, you still looking? For somebody, I mean?

Name: ah, Tom? Yeah, Tom totally sounds human, right? Right. Because you’re human. You are. Tom Ratchetcrank.

Race:
[ X] Space Human
[ ] Space Lizard
[ ] Space Moose
[ X] Space Lobster
[ ] Other (explain)

Preferred training format:
[X ] SpaceTube Videos
[ ] Hands-on demonstrations
[ ] Implanted memories
[X ] Interpretive dance
[ ] Lecture hall, midterm, and final exam
[ ] Waive the recommended training sequence (explain)

Background check (optional)
Tell us a little bit about yourself and why you’ve chosen to apply today!

X You know, uh just looking, ah, looking for some adventure, and, uh, want to do my part to help?

Really quick learner, and I, I really don’t mind starting wherever. Whereever you need me, that is. Just not here. Definitely not here quit blowing it dummy Absolutely no rush, but is that shuttle still here?

But yeah, quick learner, got lots of experience in deep water salvage and a suit’s a suit, right? Keeping pressure in or pressure out, still working the cold abyss oh, sweet sweet cold abyss, how I miss you… and I have full certifications on Crushing & Shearing techniques for material removals.

Oh, and… It doesn’t get too hot, right? I tend to get a bit red.


#11

My dear… sir? Do you have a problem with beings presenting a red carapacial presence in your vicinity?

Asking for a friend. Who is red. On the outside.

(Me.)


#12

Dear me, no! Why back home at uncle Lester’s funera- uh, no. I mean no. Nice to meet you.

[Scuttles off to empty corner]


#13

Name: Omicron Nu Pi, PhD. Professor Emeritus, Sirius Galactic University.

Race:
[ ] Space Human
[ ] Space Lizard
[ ] Space Moose
[ ] Space Lobster
[ X ] Other (explain): Space Canine

Preferred training format:
[ ] SpaceTube Videos
[ ] Hands-on demonstrations
[ ] Implanted memories
[ ] Interpretive dance
[ X ] Lecture hall, midterm, and final exam
[ ] Waive the recommended training sequence (explain)

Background check (optional)
Tell us a little bit about yourself and why you’ve chosen to apply today!

Born, bred and educated in the Canis Majoris system. Lots of litter-mates, large extended pack, but have spent my recent adult years in a solitary state.

[INFORMATION REDACTED]

After the “incident”, I hitched a ride on an interstellar ship captained by a crazy robot lizard. Lucky me - I got left behind on one of our many “pub stops” just before the ship was blown to smithereens.

I’m not afraid of hard work. I’m not afraid of much, really. Well, except for [REDACTED]. Because that’s super effed-up.

Friends call me “Puppis”. Friends buy rounds. I’m fiercely loyal to my true friends and will defend them until I bark out my last dying breath.

My enemies can go piss up a rope.


#14

I am Seelo Lionoppolis, Jouro for the Stars™.

I am not a race, I am of the species starralus sealionus. I shall not be othered by the likes of you.

I prefer the home-schooling provided by the alt-space vlog community.

During the last reconfirmation cycle I covered the Crab Nebula. It was there that I developed a taste beyond mere bonefish, but for more…sheltered delights. There was a young crustacean there, acidic sort, called Lime Nennar I seem to recall. I’d heard that shell made it’s way here to the Mess of the Coleridge, preparing to scavenge the void with the rest of the assorted lot.

Always the sucker for a good story about the underdog anti-hero, I’m here to make up history.

Cheerio!

/SEELO OUT


#15

#16

Name: Dotty or Dottie if I want to put a dot over the i or maybe a little heart instead. They both sound the same you know.

Race:
[X] Space Human
[ ] Space Lizard
[ ] Space Moose
[ ] Space Lobster
[ ] Other (explain)

Preferred training format:
[ ] SpaceTube Videos
[ ] Hands-on demonstrations
[ ] Implanted memories
[X] Interpretive dance
[ ] Lecture hall, midterm, and final exam
[ ] Waive the recommended training sequence (explain)

Background check (optional) :heavy_check_mark::heavy_check_mark::heavy_check_mark: (three just to be sure)

Tell us a little bit about yourself and why you’ve chosen to apply today!

I like dragons and I want to go see one. Also because I’m a princess, so the dragon probably won’t eat me or breath fire on me. And I’m a ballerina, so I want to do the dancing training thing because that sounds fun. Ok, so can we go see the dragon now?


#17

Name:

Browf Clamphoof

Race:
[ ] Space Human
[ ] Space Lizard
[X ] Space Moose
[ ] Space Lobster
[ ] Other (explain)

Preferred training format:
[ ] SpaceTube Videos
[] Hands-on demonstrations
[ ] Implanted memories
[ ] Interpretive dance
[ ] Lecture hall, midterm, and final exam
[X] Waive the recommended training sequence (explain)

Explain: Dakota did it already.

Background check (optional)
Tell us a little bit about yourself and why you’ve chosen to apply today!

A spacemoose like Browf and Dakota have experience in Charybdis. The Cosmosword wasn’t the most powerful ship, nor the most nimble or lucky, but it had a young spacemoose out to upgrade his heirloom universal translator and make his mother proud, and maybe even make a name for himself, and yet he ended up making many space-friends, and even recruited his trusty First Officer.

Since the last escapade in Charybdis, the Cosmosword has been ferrying logs across two sectors for some spacebeavers. It’s not elegant work, but it pays Dam well. Plus Dakota found a wormhole or two that help us dodge spacetaxes, which we now need to repay.

X Dakota Hoofington
c/- Browf Clamphoof


#18

Name: Hieronymoose Farnsworth Warnsforth

Race:
[ ] Space Human
[ ] Space Lizard
[xxx] Space Moose
[ ] Space Lobster
[ ] Other (explain)

Preferred training format:
[ ] SpaceTube Videos
[ ] Hands-on demonstrations
[xxx ] Implanted memories
[xxx] Interpretive dance
[ ] Lecture hall, midterm, and final exam
[ ] Waive the recommended training sequence (explain)

Background check (optional)
Tell us a little bit about yourself and why you’ve chosen to apply today!

X
Did I make it? I need to get off the planet for…reasons.

{huff, huff}
Did you know they don’t have bus service out to the Really Long Term Parking? I’m just glad someone was shipping some antique roller blades.
{huff, puff}

Look, its not like I stole the Delivery ship. It’s parked. In a system where it sometimes makes deliveries. And I didn’t park in close, so the parking fees will only cost…never mind. Never mind. Where do I sign up?

Okay. Yes. Yes. Size 8. No. No. Its HieronyMOOSE now. I went back to how my Grandbuck spelled it. No. Yes. Size 8.

Interpretive Dance was how I passed my M levels…but Implanted Memories? Can you overwrite a few unpleasant ones?

By my antlers I was going to avenge you Lt Rockford. There were just too many. Too many.

Yes, Implanted memories sounds wonderful. And my stateroom is … here? Great. Great.

Ummm? Did the station intercom just say something about an abandoned ZepEx ship in Really Long Term Parking? You weren’t paying attention? {wink} Gotcha. I’ll just be shuffling on now.


#19

Name: Theodore Rump, greatest deep-space miner in the galaxy.

Race:
[X] Space Human (Orange)
[ ] Space Lizard
[ ] Space Moose
[ ] Space Lobster
[ ] Other (explain)

Preferred training format:
[ ] SpaceTube Videos
[ ] Hands-on demonstrations
[ ] Implanted memories
[ ] Interpretive dance
[ ] Lecture hall, midterm, and final exam
[X] Waive the recommended training sequence (explain)

Background check (optional)
Tell us a little bit about yourself and why you’ve chosen to apply today!

There isn’t a Black Whole I won’t probe in search of adventure and riches. My tiny hands make prospecting in tight spaces a breeze. I S-chew training seaquences because I’m already pretty smart. I will hire the best assistants and Make Space Great Again! I have lots of great plans, but I can’t reveal them at this time.


#20

I HAD THE BEST PICTURE! THE LYING SPACE MEDIA IS PREVENTING IT FROM SHOWING! THIS IS UNPRESIDENTED!!!

Something something.