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| JUNIOR'S JOURNAL | ||
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THIS is Junior Burton in the Pepperoni Eggspress and I'm talking to whoever's listening out there.
You just listen to ole Junior and take his advice on a dark and stormy night, alright? When some wild-eyed-8-foot-tall mutant grabs your neck and taps the back of your favourite head up against the barroom wall and looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if you've paid your dues?
Well, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye and remember what old Paw Burton used to say at a time like that.
"Have you paid your dues, Junior?"
"Yes sir, the $HITCOIN is in the mail."
Oh yeah well you see I'm not saying that I've been everywhere and done everything. But I do know it's a pretty amazing planet that we're living on, or used to be, and a man must be some kinda fool to think we're all alone in this badass universe.
That's why ole Junior has a tip for you. I'm privy to a sweet hauling gig that might, if we're lucky, just might get us off this damn blasted rock and on the great space highway to some greener pasture.
But to earn that information you've gotta have a good hauler or a great wrench. Sure we'll need scoots and sure we'll need road warriors, but I'll leave that recruitin' to someone more qualified. If that's you, and you've got to moxie to meet me at Dead Weir's Bar tomorrow night, you're almost there. But, you've got to have the luck to beat me at cards. Lose at cards and well, I'll be looking forward to collecting 1,148 slices of your pepperoni.
Alright, the oven timer's gone off so I've got to eat me this slice now if I'm to keep on pace. If you're driving in this storm, remember what I used to say to my last wife, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can eat. Besides that, it's all in the reflexes."
character: Jack Burton Jr. aka "Junior"
vehicle: 1975 Freightliner FLC - conventional tractor with sleeper cab.
favorite possessions: Dad's boot knife, this here trucker hat, and a 6-pack of Zima I've been keeping in the cab for a special occasion.