Badass Space Dragon 2.0 - Registration

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                  _-_ _,,          |\                     
                     -/  )    _     \\    _               
                    ~||_<    < \,  / \\  < \,  _-_,  _-_, 
                     || \\   /-|| || ||  /-|| ||_.  ||_.  
                     ,/--|| (( || || || (( ||  ~ ||  ~ || 
                    _--_-'   \/\\  \\/   \/\\ ,-_-  ,-_-  
                   (                                      
                                                                                  
  -_-/                               -_____                                  
 (_ /           _                      ' | -,          _     _               
(_ --_  -_-_   < \,  _-_  _-_         /| |  |` ,._-_  < \,  / \\  /'\\ \\/\\ 
  --_ ) || \\  /-|| ||   || \\        || |==||  ||    /-|| || || || || || || 
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(_-_-   ||-'   \/\\ \\,/ \\,/         ~-____,   \\,   \/\\ \\_-| \\,/  \\ \\ 
        |/                           (                      /  \             
        '                                                  '----`

It’s something like Lemonade Stand meets Privateer.

What’s New in Version 2.0?

I don’t know. I pretty much make this up as I go. Let’s fly some imaginary spaceships!

Launch Schedule

Registrations are due Monday, Feb. 16th at 10am (AKST*) and the first missions will drop on the following Monday. Mission updates will post weekly and I don’t know how long the game will last but probably until the story ends. Or everyone dies. Or I die.

The weekly schedule will look a little something like this:

Monday, 10am
Round begins: Results from the previous round are posted along with new missions.

Thursday, 10am
Round ends: Mission selection, upgrades, trades and other decisions are locked.

Thursday-Sunday
Beep boop. Calculating results.

*Note: I live in Alaska. Coincidentally, the entire whirling galaxy of Charybdis also operates on the Alaska time zone.

Registration

                             -----------------------
                               Unizone Corporation
                             -----------------------

                            General Services Contract


* Vessel Information *

    1.) Name of vessel:_____________________ 
    
    2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship:
        [Sneaky, Fast, Powerful, Durable, Lucky]

    3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:
    


*Captain Information*

    4.) Full Name:_____________________ 

    5.) Identity Class:
        [Human, Space Lizard, Space Lobster, Space Moose]

    6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N)
    
*Signing Bonus*

    7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus?

    8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase?

By submitting this application document to the Unizone Corporation, you agree to serve faithfully under the Terms and Conditions of our Endless User License Agreement.

Please answer all eight questions. This registration thread will be locked February 16th, 10am (AKST).

… And you get a re-roll on your lowest stat if you include a sharpie sketch of your spaceship.

Terms & Conditions - Privacy Policy

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@codinghorror, please lock this thread February 16th at 10am (AKST). Thanks!

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  1. Name of vessel: I.M.V. Carcinogenic Denture

  2. Ship Attribute: Sssssneaky

  3. We freed Charybdis! / At least our littermates did. / I had no license yet.

  4. Sssir Galaxxxy

  5. Identity Class: Ssspace Lizard

  6. Over 20% cyborg? Yesss, quite. Mossst recent credential image:

7. If anything hasss been learned from the Badassss Universsse, it isss that the wise entity never defersss a bonusss. To quote a mossst learned waterfowl: “Ssshoot me now! Ssshoot me now!”

8. Every lassst digit ssshall be sssacrificed to the RNG Deity-Entity, for ssshe isss a mossst cruel missstressss. And yet, upon reflection on her prior missstreatmentsss of my Random-Number-Affected circumssstancesss, I find my sssole remaining biological component ssseems to be manifesssting the weirdessst tumessscence. I really mussst get that component replaced when next I visit the shipyardsss.

Bonus reroll Sharpie sketch: Thisss is a highly-detailed sssketch of Itsss Majesssty’sss Vessssel Carcinogenic Denture. Before I enrolled in the Sssspace Lizard Academy, I wasssted a few temporal unitsss in art ssschool. But I guarantee thisss rendering is at leassst 100% Sharpie-generated. (Sharpie shown as evidence of rendering’s provenance.)

CarcinogenicDenture1.jpg2448×3264 1.73 MB

Note sssparkly ssstealth ssstar-paint, and top-of-the-line Badassss Inter-Galactic Sssupremacy Bridge Yardarm. A prior owner confided in me that it may not have visually resembled an appreciable quantity, but it possessed that quality commonly referred to as “It” where it ratiocinatesss, immature hircine ssspecimen. I’ve made a lot of ssspecial modifica…

…I don’t think that came out right.

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eh, What’s all this racket?

Haven’t heard so much gud-durrned commotion since Scrapyard Pete acquired one of dem Bezos Autoprice Bots.

wakes up, rubs whisky crud out of his eyes

Awl, hell. Looks like shore-leave is up.

                            * Vessel Information *
   1.) Name of vessel: 
              H.M.S. IGNOBLE CALUMNIE

    2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship: 
              Damn, I've not been fast or powerful for years, but I still would like 
              to get LUCKY.
        
    3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:
              There one was a man 
              from Nantucket. Who's ship was
              a Fargin' bucket.     

                            *Captain Information*

    4.) Full Name: 
              Milton "Mackey" MacMichael

    5.) Identity Class:
              Does I look like I gots antlers?

    6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N)
              Well, the doc gave me one of dem urethra condensors for my enraged 
              prostate. It helps wit my wee. 
                     *steps on scale*
              But I gess that only makes me 7% cyborg.

.

                            *Signing Bonus*

    7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 
              YES. Ain't got much deferring left in these bones. 

    8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase?
              You've clearly never met a pensioner who fancies the numbers games. 
              ALL OF IT.

Pasted image612×816 709 KB

Aye, the Jackhammer propulsion is a bit long 'n the toothe, but the propeller add-on should buy me another decade of service.

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I choose not to give out my life history, suffice it to say I was formerly in the employ of ICUP, but no longer. My methods were effective, but it seems I upset some of my superiors and they shunted me sideways into a backwater system to chase no-name smugglers. That insult sat poorly with me, so I decided to go freelance - and I’ve met with success there too, perhaps even a little too much. I became too much of an embarassment to ICUP, and I am obliged to move somewhere that better appreciates my talents.

I heard that there was a newly independent region, full of interesting opportunities, so here I am, looking to take some. Stay out of my way, and I’ll stay out of yours. Unless, of course, you start to look like a…good investment.

1.) Name of vessel: A Certain… Moral Flexibility Would Be The Only Way To Describe It

2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship: Sneaky

3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:

Was Marshal. Moved On.
Freelance Privateer/Smuggler. 
Seeking Pastures New.

Captain Information

4.) Full Name: Watford Gap

5.) Identity Class: Human

6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N): I have many cybernetic…enhancements. And never had any complaints.

Signing Bonus

7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of ?.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive ?.030 as a deferred bonus? Show me the money.

8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase? All of it. Let 'em roll.

IMG_0187.PNG2048×1536 904 KB

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  • Vessel Information *

    1.) Name of vessel: Dabohaze

    2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship: Lucky, incredibly lucky

    3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:
    Italian blue skies.
    Air pirate against a pig.
    It did not go well.

Captain Information

4.) Full Name:  Mamma "Luckybeard" Aiuto

5.) Identity Class:  Human, but my beard is nearly sentient.

6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N) No, but my beard is close.

Signing Bonus

7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus?  Mom always told me to take what I could get when I could, but I feel like you're the kind of guy who wouldn't screw me over, I'll wait and see.

8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase?  My beard informs me that random numbers are the way to go, so I'll put it all on red.  Or however this works.

Dabohaze.jpg1212×728 138 KB

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                          Unizone Corporation
                         -----------------------

                        General Services Contract

  • Vessel Information *

    1.) Name of vessel: The YOLO Mk2

    2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship: AWESOME

    3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:
    In school they told us
    Don’t worry about the number of syllables
    I’m perfect

Captain Information

4.) Full Name: Everest Fullerton

5.) Identity Class: Human but my mom says I'm better than that.
    [Human, Space Lizard, Space Lobster, Space Moose]

6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N) Dude, I am 100% organic. Next you'll be wanting me to get vaccinated.

Signing Bonus

7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus? YOLO BABY! GIMMIE IT ALL UPFRONT

8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase? YOLO BABY! PUT IT ALL ON RED!

By submitting this application document to the Unizone Corporation, you agree to serve faithfully under the Terms and Conditions of our Endless User License Agreement.

image.jpg2448×3264 1.19 MB

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What happened to the YOLO Mk 1? Same fate as the Pillar of Autumn?

@patrace - will not owning a guitar affect my stat rolls?

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I think this guy Everest may need more than one try at only living once.

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Can’t imagine it would. What’sss a “guitar”? Sssome sssort of favorable random-number influencing device? Don’t think I’ve ever ssseen sssuch a thing, outssside of backwater sssuperssstitionsss.

What? Sssurely you jessst.

spaceship.jpg735×405 96.4 KB

No, don’t be ridiculousss. That is merely my ssspaceship. Impressssive, isn’t it?

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How does the Bigsby impact interplanetary tuning?

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Nope. No penalty for not packing a guitar. Although it does limit your ability to perform zero gravity music videos.

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~whispering~ I tell ya, SirGlaxxy, that Watford Gap look more like an accordion than gitar.

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~whissspering back~ Accordion? Looksss like sssomething my hatch-mother would use to clean out her cloaca. “Certain Moral Flexibility” indeed!

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Unparalleled bridge accessss to all frequenciess, ssstandard and otherwissse, and built like the docking bumper on an Altairian garbage ssscow, ssso you know she’ll lassst forever, but it’sss imperviousss to what your frilly-collared ssswooning-livered amphibiousss helmsboysss would insssisst is “the delicate touch.” You want the Carcinogenic Denture to go in the direction you desire, you’d damn well better grab hold of the tiller with both forelegsss and throttle that beam like your biotic componentsss depend on it… 'cause they mossst certainly do.

Alssso makesss the high-tension hexatone resonance array look mighty sssexy, if you asssk the groupiesss down the ssspaceport.

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You’ve bought one of those Arcturan cones of silence, I hear.

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Yes, t’looks hearty indeed, but I’m not familiar with yer construction material.

What sort of metal is that?

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[awkward pause]

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Damnation. I knew I forgot sssomething when I rolled out of the charging bay thisss morning…

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Oooh, exotic.

Tho’ I hear thems foreign repairs is hell on the wallet.

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