Examiner: All right, here’s your last question. What was the cause of the Civil War?
Apu: Actually, there were numerous causes. Aside from the obvious schism between the abolitionists and the anti-abolitionists, there were economic factors, both domestic and inter…
Examiner: Wait, wait… just say slavery.
Apu: Slavery it is, sir.
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Congrats!
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Congratulations, Rob!
Actual question with correct answers.
74. Name one problem that led to the Civil War.
- slavery
- economic reasons
- states’ rights
You can’t say that they haven’t thought about it a bit
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Actual question with correct answers.
29. What is the name of the Vice President of the United States now?
Joseph R. Biden, Jr.
You can’t say that they haven’t thought about it a bit
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Welcome in! Things you can do now that you’re an American:
- Ignore the rest of the world
- Bitch about the government
- Insist nobody else should be allowed in.
Have fun, and remember: We’re exceptional!
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Delightful. Welcome to America, American.
I helped my barber study for his citizenship test. He got to become an American and I learned a metric ton of Lebanese curse words. Total win-win.
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Thank god you must have heard the creaking of the trapdoor latch beneath your feet…
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So in another thread (the one with the stripper) the Texan naturalization process was debated; apparently 25 years living there is required.
What does the California naturalization process like?
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Cool. What gun did they give you? I assume every ceremony comes with a complimentary gun.
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Welcome, you are well on the way to making America a better place.
McKinley Tabor, President, Crossville Rotary Club 
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Welcome to the fold No. 36
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You just answer them orally and it’s like a chat. They will steer you in if you’re close but cigarless.
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Packed a Keltec P3AT long before citizenship, dudes. I’m white as the driven snow and have imperial voice bonus. You’ll wait longer for a burger in London than I did for a gun in Seminole, Texas.
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Then there is Question 12: What is the “rule of law”?
I showed it to lawyers and law professors. They were stumped.
There are four acceptable answers: “Everyone must follow the law”; “Leaders must obey the law”; “Government must obey the law”; “No one is above the law.”
Judge Richard Posner, the constitutional scholar who serves on the U.S. Court of Appeals in Chicago, was unhappy. “These are all incorrect,” he wrote me. “The rule of law means that judges decide cases ‘without respect of persons,’ that is, without considering the social status, attractiveness, etc. of the parties or their lawyers.”
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The system works if you do things the right way (be white and from a rich country)!
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There goes the neighborhood. Sheee-it.
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Congratulations 
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