OMG, The Family Ness! Thank you 
How many times have I tried to tell you, it’s a body of water, which trees can’t grow on. The Loch Ness Log is a myth.
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Wrong Ness.
Speaking of myths, there’s an ancient Scottish legend of a lake they called Tobler. According to the legend, any noblemen who bathed in the lake would emerge a good 2 inches taller.
Because, as everyone knows, the knights grow longer in Loch Tobler.
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You know, Nessie has a proper scientific name: Nessiteras rhombopteryx. (Ness monster with diamond fin). It was given the name by some scientific body so that if it ever proved to be real, it could be protected as an endangered species.
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