Mila Kunis "stole my chicken"

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I was expecting to see at least ā€˜one meeeellliiiooonā€™ dollars. $5,000 seems wholly reasonable, if one were to completely ignore the reason for the lawsuit.

TIL: donā€™t mess with a Ukranianā€™s chickens.

In before the ā€œMila Kunis can have my ROOSTERā€ jokes.

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Metaphor?

How horrifying! If somebody wealthy and famous stole my chicken, I might need even more expensive therapy than that. Even if they didnā€™t steal my chicken. In fact, just meeting a celebrity might be a trigger.

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Iā€™m unable to devote any resources to the investigation of this theft unless and until Iā€™m assured itā€™s a picture of the actual chicken in question.

Uh, okay: itā€™s a picture of the actual chicken in question.

Now, go git 'em, tiger!

Celebritiesā€“theyā€™re just like you and me! They brush their teeth, they watch TV, they steal their classmatesā€™ chickensā€¦

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Bloody lawyers. You omit one proviso and everyone expects you to do something.

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Best headline since ā€œWilliam Shatner Lent Me His Hairpiece.ā€

Hermoine just stole all of our shit.

Probably choked the poor thing too.

Sheā€™s grown.

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If only there was a video on par with ā€œCharlie bit my finger.ā€

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$5000 is the largest amount you can sue for in California Small Claims Court. I canā€™t tell from the article in which court the lawsuit was filed, but you donā€™t need a lawyer for Small Claims.

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ce ne est pas un poulet

Iā€™d like to steal my chicā€¦ no wait. Iā€™d like to steal herā€¦ no. If I had a chicken stolen th DAMNIT!

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