#1 By: Cory Doctorow, February 4th, 2014 17:01
#2 By: Kevin Thoman, February 4th, 2014 17:19
How can you refute... THE TRUTH?!!?
#3 By: Josh Lewis, February 4th, 2014 17:20
I remember my sixth grade teacher (a very strict and very gay man) telling the class about a similar satanic cult that had been uncovered in Texas or California. The trial and testimony, the breeding for sacrifice, the underground tunnels, the "fact" that these things were real.
With hindsight every single criminal case my teachers felt compelled to discuss with their class has fallen apart in my adulthood. In 10th grade we had to read and discuss an essay on the central park wolfpack. Never in any classroom discussion was innocent or implausible even really allowed as a possibility. It was death sentence -vs- life in prison.
#4 By: robotmonkeys, February 4th, 2014 17:24
Magic 8 Balls are the tools of Satan, because they tell the future.
Seriously. This was told to me by a born-again little girl in elementary school.
#5 By: robotmonkeys, February 4th, 2014 17:29
The prominence of D&D and the "escape the government" motif are two of the reasons why a friend of mine says that E.T. is an antiauthoritarian film.
#6 By: Eksrae, February 4th, 2014 17:31
Before the Illuminati, Tom Hanks had other demons to battle.
#7 By: Matt, February 4th, 2014 17:33
Argh. Just. Fucking. Grrr.
I lived through the Satanic Panic, it was so stupid and so powerful it even crossed the pond to the UK. It tore children from families up and down the country with baseless accusations of satanic abuse.
If you listened to metal (like I did), had long hair and wore black (like I did) and played D&D (you guessed it, and I still play now) you were a pariah. A friend who used to work part time at a gaming store whilst studying for his PhD got beaten so badly they broke a limb.
It's cringe worthy now, but back then it made life dangerous to be different.
#8 By: Stephen Schenck, February 4th, 2014 17:34
Did Cline give this testimony to the school portrait photographer?
#9 By: Jeff Boen, February 4th, 2014 17:35
And the zealots always wonder why they are laughed at and "persecuted" in various ways as time goes on. Hard to take you seriously when (dating back even before Galileo) you have a rich history of absurdity and refusing to acknowledge the truth.
I believe there's even an old parable involving a boy and a wolf...
/Played a fair amount of D&D in the 80s
/Never drank blood, sacrificed anyone, or worshiped (imaginary) evil ones
#10 By: Michael Edwards, February 4th, 2014 17:39
I wonder what level of Cultist he made it to?
#11 By: Kelly , February 4th, 2014 17:41
Come on. I played D&D in the 80s and we drank very little blood and never actually sacrificed a baby (misplaced the ritual sword that night).
#12 By: euansmith, February 4th, 2014 17:48
Drinking blood and sacrificing babies? Isn't that what the Romans said the Christians did?
#13 By: schadenfreudisch, February 4th, 2014 17:49
his accent is oddly mesmerizing. i'm going to listen to it again.
#14 By: Jason Andresen, February 4th, 2014 17:52
Oh yeah, ritual Satanic Abuse by daycare providers. I always assumed it was someone trying to undermine working women, as they were the ones that needed daycare the most.
The crazy thing about this is how years after it was clear that the whole thing was a load of bullshit and criminally overzealous prosecution, that people still believed it. They dug up the foundations at one daycare because they really and truly believed that the kids were flushed down a toilet to a sex dungeon during the day, and only released when their parents came to pick them up.
#15 By: Matt, February 4th, 2014 17:55
Plus 20 kids in Rochdale.
#16 By: unshaved2013, February 4th, 2014 17:58
What an exquisite collection of lunatics.
#17 By: Elusis, February 4th, 2014 17:58
No, that's what Christians said the Jews did.
#18 By: Tim, February 4th, 2014 18:07
One of the most sickening things from the aftermath of Kern County's legacy of child abuse hysteria? Ed Jagels, the unapologetic-to-the-end prosecutor who destroyed the lives at least three dozen innocent adults and countless children, was re-elected to his position six times until retiring on his own terms in 2009.
If anything his popularity and influence actually grew after the scandal. Among other "accomplishments," he's one of the reasons California has "tough on crime" measures like the Three Strikes law.
Bakersfield is f***ed up.
#19 By: Bobo the talking chimp, February 4th, 2014 18:07
Damn! Mine doesn't work properly then. I want a refund!
#20 By: Cary, February 4th, 2014 18:07
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