Of course he is also the DM at his secret club downtown.
For a Baptist pastor warning of demons, that was not very furious or roof-raising at all.
“Throw another log on the hellfire, will you? It’s getting a bit chilly.”
You’d expect a bit more fire and brimstone out of a guy who bears such an uncanny resemblance to a volcano.
Now that’s a big hoss.
Anti D&D Preacher
Climate/Terrain: Swampy Lowlands
Frequency: All too Common
Activity Cycle: Sunday Mornings & Bingo Night
Diet: Hush Puppies, Chicken Fried Steak, Imagination
Intelligence: Above Average (11-12)
No. Appearing: 1
Armor Class: 0
Hit Dice: 7
Speaking as a big ol’ dude, that is one real big ol’ dude.
The guys in the front row are totally phoning it in during the call-and-response. They probably have to get back to their D & D game or something.
I shouldn’t be, but it amazes me that anyone would sit there and take this guy seriously. Indoctrination is a powerful thing.
Where was he 30 years ago. He could have saved Tom Hanks!
It’s not his girth that is so impressive as much as his Olympian-level mastery of the Power Slouch. You can almost see his body absorbing everything it spills across, like a D12-hating version of the Blob.
4:3 stretched to 16:9?
C’mon, folks, let’s not make fun of the guy’s weight.
Make fun of his deep-fried ignorance and zealotry.
I am here to testify…
There’s a saying: “In Kansas, life begins at conception. And again, when you’re old enough to move out of state.”
I don’t know if these folks are in Kansas, but that likely applies to a number of states and . . .
These. Folks. Never. Moved. Away.
Do they call him Rev. Doughnuts?
Since “occult” simply means that which one cannot see, this makes pledging to not be influenced by it quite a tall order.