Dungeons and Dragons is full of occult demons, warns Baptist pastor


#1

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#2

Of course he is also the DM at his secret club downtown.


#3

For a Baptist pastor warning of demons, that was not very furious or roof-raising at all.

“Throw another log on the hellfire, will you? It’s getting a bit chilly.”


#4

You’d expect a bit more fire and brimstone out of a guy who bears such an uncanny resemblance to a volcano.


#5

Why was he throwing horns at the beginning?


#6

Now that’s a big hoss.


#7

Hook 'em!


#9

Anti D&D Preacher

Climate/Terrain: Swampy Lowlands
Frequency: All too Common
Organization: Solitary
Activity Cycle: Sunday Mornings & Bingo Night
Diet: Hush Puppies, Chicken Fried Steak, Imagination
Intelligence: Above Average (11-12)
Treasure: (D)
Alignment: Self-Absorbed
No. Appearing: 1
Armor Class: 0
Movement: 1
Hit Dice: 7

etc…


#10

Speaking as a big ol’ dude, that is one real big ol’ dude.


#11

He could use a unicorn hug.


#12

The guys in the front row are totally phoning it in during the call-and-response. They probably have to get back to their D & D game or something.


#13

I shouldn’t be, but it amazes me that anyone would sit there and take this guy seriously. Indoctrination is a powerful thing.


#14

Where was he 30 years ago. He could have saved Tom Hanks!


#15

It’s not his girth that is so impressive as much as his Olympian-level mastery of the Power Slouch. You can almost see his body absorbing everything it spills across, like a D12-hating version of the Blob.


#16

4:3 stretched to 16:9?


#17

C’mon, folks, let’s not make fun of the guy’s weight.

Make fun of his deep-fried ignorance and zealotry.


#18

I am here to testify…


#19

There’s a saying: “In Kansas, life begins at conception. And again, when you’re old enough to move out of state.”

I don’t know if these folks are in Kansas, but that likely applies to a number of states and . . .

These. Folks. Never. Moved. Away.


#20

Do they call him Rev. Doughnuts?


#21

Since “occult” simply means that which one cannot see, this makes pledging to not be influenced by it quite a tall order.