Originally published at: 1.1m Teslas recalled over fear windows may pinch fingers | Boing Boing
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Teslas are very expensive cigar cutters.
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But a tax write off for the local mohel!
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Oooh, a Tesla thread. 
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mmm, perhaps the 1% are afraid these could be used a guillotines?
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There’s already probably a lot of creative accounting around tax time for those guys considering they work for tips.
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So, I have a friend who once worked at Tesla. One time they brought home a pre-production Model X, the SUV with the “Gull-Wing Doors”.
As rumor had it, the Model X was being delayed because they were having so much trouble with the gull-wing doors, which have two articulations and can open in various ways, wide or high, detecting obstacles with ultrasound sensors.
One particular worry was pinching as they closed, but they were pretty sure it had been addressed.
Still, after finding that the doors’ obstacle detection was… imperfect, we decided to test pinch detection with baby carrots.
We ended up with mashed carrots.
To this day I’m not sure how well the Model X doors detects that it might be pinching something.
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After having to pivot to crushing fingers, Mr. Tyzik is now out of a job again. Whatever will he do in the face of the impending recession?
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Those are also definitely gonna leak when these cars are 20 years old.
A mechanism that complicated for no real advantage is such a bad idea. Gull wing doors in general were banned from cars decades ago as the primary access because they are death traps in a roll over situation. Putting them in the X as the secondary access was a goofy stunt that created a huge complicated mechanism with a million points of failure. All that so weird nerds would look at videos of it and go “coooooool”.
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" Tesla is recalling more than a million vehicles in the U.S., it announced, over fears the windows might pinch fingers on their way up. No-one, the company says, has reported being hurt."
Well, how could they?! You try texting without functional digits!
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Isn’t that the Tesla Business Model?
It is noise activated… well, scream activated.
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Every time I read the word “recalled” I think, “ah yes, I remember a long time ago…”
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Update your Tesla now before the windows put your fingers in a pinch
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“The Register has reached out to Tesla for further comment regarding the recall and over-the-air update. Given the biz binned its media relations team in 2020, we might as well sent our request to /dev/null .”
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Which apparently aren’t super reliable.
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