Buttery (fe)males!
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Always. Be. Closing.
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Even though we’re not sure who won Iowa, we can be pretty sure who didn’t haha
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Grift early and often.
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The best part of the whole thing is the cable news talking heads who were all set to start pontificating about the results being stymied, and the newspapers that had to come up with something else to fill their headlines and ended up publishing several different versions each of the “no results yet” story. I think this screwup was likely once Iowa decided to change the way they reported results for no good reason, but after all the news comedy I see it as a feature of the change instead of a bug.
If tonight has proven anything, it’s that Iowa’s role in the primaries is a error and a joke.
Fuck them and New Hampshire.
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“Iowa deserves to have the first primary”, they said. “The caucus system is a foolproof expression of pure democracy”, they said. “A moderate centrist candidate is the most electable in November”, they said.
This morning, we’re all having a good laugh at “them”. Perhaps it’s time we stopped automatically deferring to “their” authority, even if “they” are white cisgender males over 55 with some degree of power.
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Sufficiently advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from malice.
I wouldn’t trust an app I wrote myself to give an accurate result for this*, much less a closed-source app developed by a Buttigieg-backed firm called “shadow.” Who the fuck thought that was a good idea?
*Unless I programmed the result in from the start.
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I woke up this AM and read about Iowa for the fist time … we are sooo fucked.
Democrats can’t do anything right and the headlines are clear…
The State of Union speech is going to be a doozy.
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My take would be “Caucuses are an obsolete idea; could you please move on?” and “For the love of God, Celestia, and Cosmic Cat, do not rely on an app working properly to get your results!”
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- Count the people
- Phone each other and tell each other what happened
If (2) doesn’t work, get in a damn car and drive somewhere with the results written down on a piece of paper.
Okay, so you tried to use an app and it didn’t work. What the hell was the backup plan? You had a backup plan, right? I plan meetings for 20 people and have a backup plan for if the screen-sharing app I’ve used successfully dozens of times doesn’t work that day. The backup plan is not spend hours trying to get the thing that doesn’t work working. It’s do something else.
Well yeah, it sounds like it was a complete shitshow, but all reports are saying Biden lost badly. Send your lawyers out with shepherd’s crooks to corral people to the other side of a gym and you have a shot.
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The only problem with that take is that it doesn’t address the question which many of us have which is, why does it one of the smallest states of the union get to go first? Why does one of the whitest states get to go first? I am no longer interested in reforming bad policies, I simply want bad policies to not affect my life.
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Nothing suspicious here. Nothing to see. Just move on. Move along.
fucfuckfuckfuck
Even if it really really is nothing, the look is bad. Last thing we need this time around is “evidence” that the dems are rigging the game.
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This is the Dem establishment of Iowa you’re asking this question of. Think of the bang-up job they’ll be doing in November (or don’t, if you want to sleep at night).
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Some of the caucuses tried to do this, and the main office turned them away. Iowa is a small state, there’s no reason they couldn’t just do the whole thing by hand in an evening other than they had decided to do it a different way and nobody around felt they had the authority to change that.
The good news here is that everything was done in the open, the caucus secretaries for each precinct have the full tabulations written down and everyone at the caucus can corroborate the tabulation, so we don’t have to worry about secret machinations with unrecorded electronic voting. If someone (Biden, I’m looking at you) decides to contest the results, they really won’t have a leg to stand on.
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I don’t think this mix-up really matters much. Like you say, they’ve got the results, they just need to add them up. But the reports on it have awful headlines. Suppose their plan was: We’ll use the app and then if something goes wrong we’ll count it up tomorrow.
That would be a fine plan. No one would have driven to head office. The media wouldn’t be reporting that there was confusion. They’d be reporting: Delays in counting, official results won’t be in until noon. It’s the apparent lack of planning that’s the problem.
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