3 tricks to make your bathroom the best room in the house


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/01/29/3-tricks-to-make-your-bathroom.html


#2

It’s still the tiny, humid room where people poop.


#3

Oh man they’re trying so hard to hawk those neon johns. They must have a frekin warehouse full, just gathering dust.


#4

I’m a sucker for all things tentacled.


#5


#6

I’m not sure I want anything flaring up in my bathroon.

Except maybe a match after a doozie of a twosie.


#7

Sorry, I’m not interested unless they’re weird tricks.


#8

Those shower curtains are pretty great.

That said I don’t understand this obsession people have with huge bathrooms and “needing a sanctuary”. It’s just one more room you need to clean (now with mold and soap scum) and where you go to take a shit and bathe.


#9

I’m more interested in innovative ways to soundproof a bathroom.


#10

dank carpet: $400


#11

Came here for a bidet.

Leaving disappointed.


#12

Right, large print 100% -endorsed by Polly Esther- flame-cleansing bidet, shower curtain and presentation screen, made like an ‘endless towel’ dispenser, fire retardant but made way nontoxic, $53 and antitax at the former American Apparel of your choice?


#13

And probably pretty messy, since you didn’t find that bidet, eh?


#14

3 tricks to make your bathroom the best room in the house

Trash your living room, bedroom and kitchen?


#15

Some people really do care about their bathrooms.

The first thing you clock is that the bathroom’s about the size of an aircraft hangar. Slate tile floor, chrome fittings and fixtures, expensive curved-glass shower with a bar-stool and some kind of funky robot arm to scoosh the water-jet right up your fanny—like an expensive private surgery rather than a temple of hygiene. About the stainless steel manacles bolted to the wall and floor inside the shower cubicle we’ll say no more. It is apparent that for every euro the late Michael Blair, esq., spent on his front hall, he spent ten on the bathroom. But that’s just the beginning, because beyond the shower and the imported Japanese toilet seat with the control panel and heated bumrest, there stands a splendid ceramic pedestal of a sink—one could reasonably accuse the late Mr. Blair of mistaking overblown excess for good taste—and then a steep descent into lunacy. Mikey, as you knew him before he became (the former) Prisoner 972284, is lying foetal on the floor in front of some kind of antique machine the size of a washer/dryer. It’s clearly a plumbing appliance of some kind, enamelled in pale green trimmed with chrome, sprouting pipes capped with metal gauges and thumb-wheels that are tarnished down to their brass cores, the metal flowers of a modernist ecosystem. The letters CCCP and a red enamel star feature prominently on what passes for a control panel. Mikey is connected to the aforementioned plumbing appliance by a sinuous, braided-metal pipe leading to a chromed tube, which is plugged straight into his— Jesus. It is a two-wetsuit job.

Stross, Charles (2011-07-05). Rule 34 (Halting State Book 2) (pp. 8-9). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.


#16

The room where I bathe will never by the “best” room in my house. Though the digital temperature controls, bath auto fill & re-heating functions are spiffy.


#17

Definitely do NOT add flare to you bathroom. Add flair if you want.

Well, actually, it’s "internet correct’, so… close enough.


#18

Adding a shitting hat not on the list then?


#19

why? this flare adds flair to any room!

(for a short while)


#20

IIRC, you live in Japan?