3 tricks to make your bathroom the best room in the house

3 tricks to make your bathroom the best room in the house

Trash your living room, bedroom and kitchen?

13 Likes

Some people really do care about their bathrooms.

The first thing you clock is that the bathroom’s about the size of an aircraft hangar. Slate tile floor, chrome fittings and fixtures, expensive curved-glass shower with a bar-stool and some kind of funky robot arm to scoosh the water-jet right up your fanny—like an expensive private surgery rather than a temple of hygiene. About the stainless steel manacles bolted to the wall and floor inside the shower cubicle we’ll say no more. It is apparent that for every euro the late Michael Blair, esq., spent on his front hall, he spent ten on the bathroom. But that’s just the beginning, because beyond the shower and the imported Japanese toilet seat with the control panel and heated bumrest, there stands a splendid ceramic pedestal of a sink—one could reasonably accuse the late Mr. Blair of mistaking overblown excess for good taste—and then a steep descent into lunacy. Mikey, as you knew him before he became (the former) Prisoner 972284, is lying foetal on the floor in front of some kind of antique machine the size of a washer/dryer. It’s clearly a plumbing appliance of some kind, enamelled in pale green trimmed with chrome, sprouting pipes capped with metal gauges and thumb-wheels that are tarnished down to their brass cores, the metal flowers of a modernist ecosystem. The letters CCCP and a red enamel star feature prominently on what passes for a control panel. Mikey is connected to the aforementioned plumbing appliance by a sinuous, braided-metal pipe leading to a chromed tube, which is plugged straight into his— Jesus. It is a two-wetsuit job.

Stross, Charles (2011-07-05). Rule 34 (Halting State Book 2) (pp. 8-9). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

5 Likes

The room where I bathe will never by the “best” room in my house. Though the digital temperature controls, bath auto fill & re-heating functions are spiffy.

3 Likes

Definitely do NOT add flare to you bathroom. Add flair if you want.

Well, actually, it’s "internet correct’, so… close enough.

3 Likes

Adding a shitting hat not on the list then?

4 Likes

why? this flare adds flair to any room!

(for a short while)

2 Likes

IIRC, you live in Japan?

2 Likes

Naturally they assumed everyone already has one. I mean who shits without their boweler hat?

7 Likes

And do drugs. Don’t forget the drugs.

4 Likes

A dodgy combination…

6 Likes

They should have named it “Illumipotti”.

5 Likes

Yeah. Might as well just flush 'em down the toilet.

2 Likes

And make sure it stays that way in case I drop by.

It used to be “See Rome and die.” I guess your post bumps that.

1 Like

Courtesy flushes help as far as a practical goal.

2 Likes

Much better. Thank you Aziz.

3 Likes

That’s…disturbing.

4 Likes

Any room I am in automatically becomes the best room in the house.

7 Likes

Correct

1 Like

This topic was automatically closed after 5 days. New replies are no longer allowed.