Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/05/29/350-usb-stick-claiming-to-blo.html
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I give up… at this point if you believe this you deserve to be ripped off…
You should still read their website is a beautiful work of fiction. Also the Trading Standards are now involved
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It just looks like a thumbdrive, but when this baby hits 88 Mb/s, you’re going to see some serious shit!
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Previously from these snake-oil salesmen scumbags…
A search in Companies House shows the two directors of BioShield Distribution are Anna Grochowalska and Valerio Laghezza.
Both of them appear to have been involved previously in a business called Immortalis, which sells a dietary supplement called Klotho Formula.
Its website - rather similar in design to that of the BioShield - says Klotho Formula uses a “proprietary procedure that leads to relativistic time dilation and biological quantum entanglement at the DNA level”.
[Source]
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See it’s just beautiful… I might use some of these phrases in my next project meeting
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Gonna need gold connectors on that, of course.
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The response time of holograpohic nano-layer catalysts is too long to effectively balance cardiac coherence in a tertiary manifold space. For that kind of work, you really need sub-nano titanate clusters suspended in a superstring tensor array and tuned using dehydrogenated samovars aligned to the lowest harmonic lunar azimuth. Schottky rectification in homeopathic Au solutions shows some promise too, but I have IP pending on that, so I can’t say any more.
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Nearly all sales pitches contain lies, so why not leave out all the truth and elevate it to an art form?
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Art is a lie that makes us realize truth, at least the truth that is given us to understand.
~Pablo Picasso, notable asshole
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All the protection of a tinfoil hat in a convenient pocket-sized case, packing enough Woo to fill your whole house!
The BioShield promotional text is amusing until you realize how many people will fall for it. It’s like they fed the text of a new age dictionary to a Markov chain text generator… or a Mixmaster.
Vulcans, please come and take me away. Humans can be amusing, but they are batshit crazy.
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What amazed me is this line from the article:
Making the $350 device even more underwhelming is how the USB stick contains a mere 128MB in storage
128 MB? That’s 1/8 of a 1Gb thumb drive. It barely be used as a storage device today.
Then again, it does compare favorably with my first hard drive purchase: A 20 MB SCSI Hard Drive for $495 (plus $30 shipping). Of course, that was in 1986 dollars. So adjusting for inflation… Hmm.
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I was about to write “I submitted this to BB over a week ago” but really it might have been three days ago and anyway I’m not sure what the meaning of time is any more.
The photos and bullshit at the site are worth the visit. Sheer shameless bullshit.
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And all this time I thought Pablo Picasso was “never called an asshole.”
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Well, not never around here.
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I was fully expecting your reply to be “not like you.”
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Ah yes, the submission form.
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That seemed unnecessarily confrontational.
As a Masshole it may be blasphemy for me to say this, but I prefer this one.
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