Which, if you haven’t noticed, exactly fits with these individuals’ worldviews and explains why they consider it to be a devastating insult when everyone else just shrugs and goes “okaaay. Why, exactly, is that supposed to be devastating?”
Personally, I just find it intensely useful as a tribal marker–those individuals that use it earnestly are essentially announcing to the world “Hi, I’m an insecure white male with control issues and believe that women should be property of men. Specifically, me. A man. Have I mentioned how manly I am?” Once they’ve announced that, I know A) not to bother interacting with them anymore, and B) that they’re, well, exactly as you described–insecure, selfish, patriarchal, and wanting to roll back and deny the existence of both female autonomy and birth control, and being all-around horrible people.
“What makes it beautiful is that it exposes the speaker’s interest in a relatively obscure category of porn centered on the menacing appeal of big black dicks to scared white men: that being by far the most widespread use of the term online before it ascended to the pantheon of inadvertently-revealing insults.”
I love how its an insult which is far more denigrating to the speaker than its target.