A healthy DIY unicorn smoothie

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/05/23/a-healthy-diy-unicorn-smoothie.html

Yeah but. A quick Google says the natural strawberries, natural banana, natural mango and natural honey alone add up to 45g of sugar. Add some for the dragonfruit, whipped topping and sprinkles, it’s got to be over 50g.

OK, “natural” versus whatever sawdust and floor sweepings in the evil commercial product… oh, hang on, it’s milk, ice, syrup and sauce, for 62g sugar. Tell me again how the sugar in “tree candy” is so much healthier.

Here’s an idea: Pour it into two glasses half the size, share with a unicorn or have some tomorrow.


I was about to do this myself. With the dairy, honey, and fruit the sugar had to be high.

To make a healthy version, I’d use beets for the pink, but that blue is really hard to get right and healthy. I guess it would be best to use a dye of some kind for that part.


A couple of mashed blackberries maybe? They’re low-er fructose. Pink and light purple seems unicorny enough for the little princesses in my kingdom.

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Maybe, but a beet smoothie already has a purple-y pink so it would be a poor contrast. It’s the same problem with blueberries. I think you are basically forced into a light smoothie with spirulina.

Because the beet looks like this:

And the blackberry/blueberry would look like this:

Maybe just use curacao and make it adults only. Fuck it, I like unicorns.

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Yeah, there’s going to be a ton of sugar in it. But at least you’ll know it has vitamins and fiber in it, instead of just flavor essences and food coloring.

Splitting it with a friend, or several, is probably a good idea though! :slight_smile:


Please don’t buy into the naturalistic fallacy, that path leads to darkness.

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She does this for her 7 year old? This woman is insane. I already spend so much of my life feeding the little buggers that I can’t imagine going to the trouble of swirling the yogurt up the glass and putting it in the freezer. I guess if you see your only job as waiting on your kids hand and foot this might seem like a good idea.

She had me at “it smells a little bit like pond scum”. YUM!

I think how to DIY is pretty obvious - you start off with fresh, grass-fed unicorn…


There are women who spend their days making unicorn smoothies. Researching them, making them, discussing them on Youtube. Is this the part where I say “late stage capitalism?”

Well, you can. But except for the origin of the unicorn smoothie idea as a Starbucks promotion, is there anything here that isn’t just good old eccentricity and (foodstuff) geekery?


Like these guys version better…

Vegan??? Clearly does not contain real unicorns.


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