A juicer that won't make juice unless the produce is marked with special code [Updated]

The person who says: “Oh crap, I need to buy person a gift. What the hell do they like…? Juice! I’ll get a juicer! Dammit, which one? Eh, it doesn’t matter as long as it’s expensive enough.”

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With the built in WiFi radio, I can see my ISP shutting me off for improper use of an orange,

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And if the date code is signed using the manufacturer’s private key?

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You mean, like . . . http://www.health-information-fitness.com/enemarecipes.html

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That’s fair - I mean everyone makes a time vs money calculation every time they don’t grind their own beans for coffee or start from raw ingredients anyway. someone may well decide they want fresh fruit and juice it this way just to save time and hassle, more power to them in that case, but I don’t really see how that’s different than those whole-fruit juices you can get in the store, either, unless it’s cheaper (and I’m sure it’s not).

Coffee pods are a great example of this - they’re expensive, but they’re less expensive if you’re a single or dual-person family who likes occasional coffee and doesn’t want to buy preground coffee (because it’ll stale on you before you finish it), and less time consuming than grinding your own bulk beans, while also being cheaper than going to most local coffee shops (and possibly faster depending on how busy it is).

It’s all a time/money tradeoff.

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Want to go extinct? Because that’s how you go extinct.

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You juice it, you brought it.

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I’m no juice expert (I only drink it if it’s fermented or distilled), but I think once pressed, juice deteriorates more quickly than whole fruit. Of course, chopped fruit deteriorates faster than whole fruit, but since the packets are sealed presumably that minimizes that. So if you want to make juice at home, this seems like one the freshest, least messy way to do it.

I don’t really understand the “cold pressed” craze - maybe it’s supposed to keep vitamins less degraded or something. But if you believe that, the local juicer can’t touch that, and compared to supermarket versions this would be fresher and cheaper, as @nungesser pointed out.

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Well yeah, who said anything about sinister? I just think it tastes foul. Whatever they put in pre-made OJ (flavoring and sugar) tastes like shite to me. YMMV.

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Ummm…no

Yeech

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Or someone who is preparing for some deep space colony ship action, yo. Maybe that’s what this is ALL ABOUT. PREPARING US.

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Enzymes, yo. Maximizing the active enzymes, which QUICKLY peace out after juicing from fresh veggies. No bottled juice really can help this, even if it comes from the most organic shit out there. I mean it starts as soon as you make the juice, within a few days, meh.

This is what I learned watching WAY WAY WAAAAAY too many videos on THIS AMAZING MAN’s website:

http://www.discountjuicers.com/

He puts out some AMAZING juicer review videos, I’m not lying when I say I probably watched 20 hours of his videos at one point. He’s great. Support him. Anyway…

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So far as I know they don’t add sugar if its juice, rather than drink. I don’t actually know what the flavorings are, asside from that they don’t qualify as ingredients for the label.

But yeah most of them taste like shit, especially from concentrate. But a fair lot of the fresh squeezed, highly perishable not processed OJ taste like shit too. I think its down to fruit selection, cause when I do it myself and I’m not careful about what sort of orange I do my squeezing on its pretty crap too. I’ve also noticed a fair bit of the nasty ones have a lot of pith flavor to them. So the fruits likely aren’t handled properly when they gets juiced. And the same thing happens if I leave too much pith on and send them through my electro pulverizing murder juicer.

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Did anyone tell @doctorow so he can use this example in a keynote?

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Now THAT is some vile stuff!

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Won’t that destroy all of those precious nutrients generated by the cold-press process?

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You’re not supposed to make a toothpaste orange juice smoothie…

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Can I watch Netflix on this?

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Not juice per se, but I suppose juicy things would tend to happen in their company…

ducks

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