Originally published at: A long list of penis mishaps in 2022 | Boing Boing
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Some of those reports are “yeah, that sounds like a really unfortunate accident, but I can see it happening.”
Others are just acts of mindless stupidity on the part of the penis-haver or the people around them.
Many of them, though, are “I have questions. I have many, many questions. Never tell me the answers.”
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Penis list website is paywalled?
Ok, pal. Keep believing in yourself!
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It’s just a begging popup with a tricky-to-find “X” to close it.
As a paywall it’s more like this gate:
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As the owner of a penis, I found this list both hilarious and painful.
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That’s a pretty long list, but it was even longer before a tragic accident.
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Something, something, core competencies…
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When I was at medical school we had an entire afternoon of lectures on sex related injuries. Various penis disasters, also unfortunate rectal insertions, and the danger of nylon carpets.
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The same site also has a list of insertion incidents: What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year? | Defector
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A lot of these are sounding… deliberate. Maybe they weren’t expecting a particular outcome to be so severe, but the event didn’t happen on accident. I mean, you don’t accidentally get your penis piercing caught in a car door without already being naked and, uh, interacting with the car door.
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Oh dear, yes, carpet burns take ages to heal.
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Nothing to worry about, Darwin knows what he’s doing.
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Had a piercing on penis which got caught in car door
Blink. Blink. That’s one were we need the rest of the story.
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Yeah, that one in particular had me going
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I’m just reading the list, first thinking, “Huh?” and then immediately realizing…
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Oh I don’t know, there are peekaboo cutouts in more and more things and some things pop out on their own? A magnetic interlock sounds like a more minimal chastity belt, although cannily vulnerable to Championship Belt Vonda. And every car. And some door hardware.
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