A painful device to punish hat thieves


Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/06/14/a-painful-device-to-punish-hat.html


Patent seems to be missing the mind control and spite for it’s inventor it needs to be truly villainous.


It’s doesn’t sound like any hat fitted with this device would be very comfortable, even if you knew the code.


This invention will not deter hat abusers of the sort described by Hermann Melville in Moby Dick:

“Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people’s hats off–then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can."



I can totally see someone coming up with a kickstarter for a modern version for hipster hats. And it will be an IoT device and come with an app. And it will be total crap.


For underwear too.


And it will be infected with remote-control malware. Let the games begin!


Like this?



Do you want more Phineas Gages? Cuz this sounds like how you get more Phineas Gages.




This would be a great feature during monsoon season.




The early 20th century had its own version of IoS.


Of course the National Hat Association has been successful in suppressing statistics on how often this attacks the user versus perpetrator.


There really is one for everything:



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