A Spoiler Thread of Ice and Fire

It is important to remember that GRRM only has so much say as to the events in the final season. We have already had some fan service stuff these last two seasons that clearly weren’t ever going to be in the books.

so…I’m hopeful.

Maybe it was all a love story…

lost31

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Of course if it was left to him we’d get no ending at all. When the first novel in this series hit the shelves The Phantom Menace wasn’t even a glimmer in George Lucas’ eye. When the most recent novel in the series hit the shelves Disney hadn’t even begun negotiations to buy Lucasfilm yet, let alone plan out the latest trilogy.

If you adopted a puppy when A Game of Thrones was published then its offspring would probably all have died of old age by now.

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Has GRRM broken Stephen King’s record for the total amount of time the Dark Tower fans spent waiting for him to finish that series, yet?

At least GRRM didn’t make a sudden unexpected cameo in his own story to assure the characters that he’d get right back on that, sorry for the delay. Because that was kind of weird.

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Alright, make your predictions now. Dare to be wrong. Who will die in the next episode?

Brienne dies a Night
Tormund dies attempting to save Brienne
Podrick has sung his last song
Greyworm will never see that sunny shore
Jaime- he goes cause Cersei must mourn again

By the rules of teenage horror flicks, Arya should slip and fall and be consumed, but she is no victim. She kicks ass.

It was weird and probably too meta, but I give King a pass because at least he finally finished the damn thing before he eventually ends up dying. That accident he had in '99 almost left the Constant Readers hanging, permanently.

(Also you have no idea how genuinely weirded out I am that this year is 2019, given the significance of that number in the series.)

I think Danny might die fighting the King to save Jon. Or Jon might die because Dany refuses to fight for him, cf. line of succession.

Hot Pie sits on the Iron Throne.

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He’d be The Baker to behold.

But I’m a bit serious here. Look, just kill both potential legitimate heirs, Mr. Martin. And then let’s discuss to abandon this throne and the kingdom stuff. Varys and Tyrion debating over a new form of government while the religious groups struggle for power would be an interesting follow-up series.

Not the first time for the Queensland prod. Didn’t they do something similar for Pokemon Go?

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I mean, seriously, Dany. You’re the great Queen of Dragons and the leader of fifteen armies or something, and your great contribution to this battle is to land your dragon in a middle of a mob of undead for no reason at all. I feel like this show is not-so-subtly trying to make me doubt in her ability to sit the throne. This episode did upend the Jon-has-to-kill-undead-Ice-Queen-Dany theory however, and Jon had his big hero moment of, um, yelling at an Ice Dragon like a bro.

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Unfortunately, nowhere is GRRM’s complete removal from editorial involvement more apparent than the mile-thick plot armor that all the major characters wear.

I found that disappointing. Does the showrunner’s plot line really need every single one of them for the next three episodes? Sam? Grey Worm? Brianne? Tormund? Gendry? More characters of that caliber dying would have increased the emotional punch of the battle and made the stakes more believable.

The only major characters to die were Beric (never that important) and Jorah and Theon, each of which tied off a neat story arc with a bow.

And honestly, others at that level could have died without fanfare to highlight the utter imbalance of the battle. I thought Jamie and Brianne were simply run over in the initial charge and thought “Wow!” But no, they were still there, hacking away for an hour, each shot looking like it was their last, but never was.

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I forgive it all. I loved the overall sense of a well executed military plan, I enjoyed Tyrion and Sansa in the crypt. We saw Dani and Dragon bested by the Night King, while ninja Arya delivers game point.

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And how did they all survive the crypt?!? It’s like “oh, we’re all completely helpless here while dozens of undead Starks emerge. Valrys, sit with a bunch of children in a wide alcove, all looking sightly concerned, and Tyrion and Sansa will wander over to you and everyone will be fine.”

Ok, ok, I apologize. I enjoyed the episode a lot. But I enjoyed it more in the moment than I did looking back on it. But maybe I shouldn’t use this platform to make other people like it less.

I really enjoyed the thrill of the episode and simultaneously noticed all the plot issues with too many known characters surviving what is an hour plus screen time of getting slaughtered non stop.

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