I never take drugs when I go whoring.
I bet they wish they had said âorâ.
If youâve stayed at a Chinese hotel, youâre probably familiar with a particular kind of business card being slipped under the door to your room. So maybe they donât want you to go whoring for the same reason hotels have room service food.
I wonder if the Japanese text is similarly âinterestingââŚ
Can I take whores and go drugging?
Can the whores take the drugs?
I canât read Chinese, but the Japanese is less silly-sounding. It starts off with a âCautionâ rather than a âwarm noticeâ and implores guests not to break Chinese laws. Itâs also more polite, and goes on a bit with phrases like âfor your safety.â
All things being equal, I feel like this is a reasonably well-written letter in English. Iâve seen far less understandable ones written by native speakers. With a few minor tweaks, it would be a really stellar letter. If you feel like this is the sort of letter your hotel needs to have. And, knowing tourists, it probably is. 
Friendly Reminder
Dear Guest,
Welcome to the Star Hotel. Please remember to obey Chinese law during your stay.
Prostitution and illicit drug use are not permitted in China.
Thank you for your cooperation,
Star Hotel
But can you smoke in your room?
Like room service in that something overpriced, cold and gelatinous shows up?
But Iâm afraid I havenât any drugs. Would it be politic for me to go whoring for drugs?
Look! Look! The date has been doctored! What are they hiding?
I donât know about drug use in the PRC, it wasnât obvious when we were there. But prostitution? That was rife and blatant. Really blatant. The solicitous (literally) enquiries from the hotel front desk late in the evening of âĺ
çéčŚćĺĄĺ?â (âDoes Sir require Service?â) werenât an invitation to avail ourselves of the skills of a short order cook for a midnight snack ⌠
It continually amazes me that people will engage in illicit drug use when in countries that FROWN mightily on such things. Here in Canada you might get a fine, in the US you might get a fine or some egregious jail time for a joint.
I had a girlfriend who âaccidentallyâ carried a large amount of marijuana in the bottom of her bag through the Malaysian border, twice. She âforgotâ it was there. The very graphic signs at the border should probably have reminded herâŚ
Rife and blatant, and impermissible, are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah, youâd think Midnight Express would have heavily curtailed that sort of behaviour.
True. But illegality usually produces a degree of circumspection. Yet âdespite living in a red light district as a studentâ Iâve never seen so much commercial sexual availability so widely advertised. Even down here in Oz and NZ where prostitution is entirely legal and regulated, it is never so in your face as it was in China.
How long until the joke is on the West, and Honorable BoingBoing starts posting photos of funny Mandarin notes on NY Super8?
At least they said âpleaseâ.
