Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/01/22/absurd-saudi-arabia-calls.html
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The stupidest timeline…
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How about “plausible,” did he swish that around at all?
Oh, I get it, it’s absurd because it’s not hacking when someone gives you the keys.
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“The idea that the crown prince would hack Jeff Bezos’ phone is absolutely silly.”
Suspiciously specific denial. I too find it absurd that the crown prince would do so. Order it done? Yeah, not so absurd.
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Person who can act with impunity… proceeds to act with impunity.
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I mean, sure, we might hack a journalist here and there, but a phone? That’s ridiculous!
In case there were any lingering doubts about whether Bezos is a piece of shit wannabe super-villain.
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What about the MBS hacking the phone of the owner of a US newspaper that is contentious with MBS & MBS’ soul-mate Trump ?
FTFY
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An absurdist timeline might have some whimsy involved. I’m sticking with stupidest myself.
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How about if MBS ordered a journalist to be sawed in half with a herring?
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More absurdist than our current timeline, that’s for sure, which aspires to the intelligence of a bag of rocks.
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Absurd? This is a member of the corner-cutting (and journalist-cutting) myopic, lazy-minded House of Saud. Given the limited number of people wealthy and powerful enough for Bezos to have on WhatsApp, of course they used Bone-Saw himself as the vector.
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I mean, it is possible that the video carried a payload that both men are the victims of. When you open a video from your dad and it turns out to carry code that makes your phone download a million ads per day while it sits in your pocket, you don’t blame your dad for the hack. You say, “Really, Dad? Where did you get this from and why did you open it?” And then he says, “Hey, go easy on me, ms. computer EXPERT. You opened the video too, didn’t you? We all get fooled sometimes.”
That said, MBS is not your dad, and there’s that whole Washington Post newspaper thing and that Khashoggi thing, and yeah, Bezos is an idiot to trust MBS under any circumstances. Then again, maybe when you are a super villain yourself you find that the only kind of friends you have are other super villains. Can you imagine how tiring it would be to maintain an appropriate level of opsec when dealing with all your friends because you know that they are all super villains just like you? I’m pretty sure that some cartoon somewhere has explored that concept in absurd detail, speaking of absurdity.
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Calling the reports “silly” and “absurd” aren’t denials, though.
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“Absurd” … soooo banal for villain speak. Where’s Baghdad Bob when you need him?
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Herring? Nah. Swordfish, now I could see that. Especially since that’s also the password to Bezos’ phone (isn’t it always?)
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A couple of things:
- If you don’t want your naughty photos to be leaked, don’t ever goddamn take them in the first place.
- A successful sneak does not record their indiscretions on media device
- Jeff Bezos has no game whatsoever. Why is he sending dickpicks? Wouldn’t simply saying “I’m a multibillionaire” be a sufficient pickup line in most situations?
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Jared and Ivanka have been in communication with him via what’s app - and apparently most of the Trump team.
The entire administration is compromised.
Again.
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On the plus side, MBS is dialing down his hacking.
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I’m guessing that the heavy lifting has been completed long ago. It’s all about sucking up all the intel now.
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