Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/12/21/alabama-cops-blame-satan-in-ar.html
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Should we the send the good peoples in Opp, Ala. a Dragon Creche?
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Should we send the PD a technology assistant who can show the communications officer how to turn off his CAPS LOCK?
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Oblig.
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IT IS TIME TO FULLY SUPPORT LAW ENFORCEMENT AND STAND BY THE OFFICERS AND DEPUTIES THAT ARE FAR TOO OFTEN HAVING TO WALK INTO THESE DANGEROUS SITUATIONS AND CLEAN UP THE MESS.
Um…so in other words, “If you raised your kids right we wouldn’t have to do our jobs.”
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I blame Satan for Alabama.
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And then the wise leaders of Opp, AL express confusion over the phenomenon of any kid with a modicum of smarts or talent blowing town the moment he or she graduates high school.
“Must be Satan, too.”
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I Can’t Believe it’s not Satan™.
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There are also frogs, goats, eels, owls…So many animals to choose from, I can’t list them all!
I think the group I belong to is humans.
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“It is too early to discuss Satan Control!”, this message has been brought to you by the National Satan Associate.
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BOTTOM LINE, THERE ARE SHEEP; THERE ARE WOLVES AND THERE ARE SHEEP DOGS. WHICH GROUP DO YOU BELONG TO ?
So, I assume I’m supposed to say “sheep dogs”, right? Like, no-one answers that question with “Oh yeah, I’m a sheep!” And wolves are clearly being painted as the villains. So their ideal is that everyone is a sheep dog? But with no sheep to herd? Who are the humans who own the dogs in this analogy?
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I guess that the Shepherd would be… um… Jesus?
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Satan Claus?
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When asked for a comment, Satan responded: “Alabama? I ain’t going to that hell hole!”
True story:. My one and only trip to Alabama; as we crossed the border from Florida into Gulf Shores, I stopped by the first gas station to fill up the tank. There was a sign on the pump, “Pumping gas and not paying for it is against the law.”. They had to remind people that theft is illegal.
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I believe the correct dichotomy is that there are sheep dogs and COYOTES.
What a maroon.
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The disingenuous “we.” Clergy use it a lot.
THIS IS HAPPENING BECAUSE WE HAVE TURNED AWAY FROM GOD AND EMBRACED SATAN.
This usage of the word “we” actually means “you.”
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Replace Satanists with Muslims , or any other practicing religion , that ain’t cool ya know?
Now spotlight unjustly on the Satanists to explain why they aren’t involved. Cop is a douche for throwing accusations out like that.
(I think it was those damn Flying Spaghetti kooks).
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Well, they should certainly know, since they seem to work for the guy.
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I think they are saying that there are sheep (the people), the Sheep Dogs (the Police) and the Wolves (criminals / anyone who doesn’t blindly obey the police).
Which tells you what he thinks of his town, considering how disparagingly right wingers normally talk about Sheep and Sheeple…
“I think that the locals are getting fleeced”, I said, sheepishly.
(Personally? We’re a nation of Lions and Wolves; and his dogs just can’t hunt.)
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I actually hate it more when doctors and nurses use it.
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