All-purpose apology for corrupt, inept, thieving, substance-abusing Canadian politicians


If this is meant to be an all-purpose apology for all (Canadian) politicians, it’s missing a few points.
Off the top off my head I’d add

  • indecent exposure
  • miscellaneous sexual deviant acts
  • tax fraud
  • taking candy from babies
  • eating puppies
  • worshipping Stan
  • worshipping Satan
  • selling out the human race to reptile alien overlords

what did I miss?

submitted by phoe1: punched Cory’s kitten in the groin

Well, for a start, I missed these:


I think the story behind this track is that the voices are from a radio call-in program. The irate caller’s voice is sped up and the politician’s voice is slowed way down.


There are days, when I come to the inevitable conclusion, that all politicians exist for the sole purpose of diverting the attention of the public away from the people who have real power.


Bumble. Fuck.


Only for Canadians?


Once you get a pass with, “I might have done it while I was drunk out of my mind,” why do you need to add anything else?


Why hasn’t he resigned? He’s not fit for office.

I’m beginning to pity him. He looks like death warmed over in that photo.

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when I scrolled to story I momentarily saw this (click)

wow, that was weird

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Rob Ford: “I only smoke crack when I’m drunk.”

Rob Ford: “But that’s my secret… I’m ALWAYS DRUNK.”




He is a conservative who has been for cutting city services to reduce taxes for himself and his wealthy donors. He has gleefully demeaned low income people, minorities and women. He is a bully and lawbreaker who will happily ruin people’s lives for doing exactly the same things he does: drug taking and selling, drunk driving, spouse abuse, corruption, just to name a few.

The very picture in this post is available because the woman pictured with him is having her ass grabbed and squeezed by that lout while the picture is being taken.

This guy deserves no sympathy, just as he has given no sympathy to anyone.


It should be noted that the catch-all is also supposed to be a mea culpa for the three Conservative senators that just got suspended/booted for extensive expense fraud/embezzlement (normally a lifelong appointed position; there’s no precedent for this). Who knew we Canadians could be so exciting!?

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Indeed. “In one of my drunken stupors” is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever heard a politician say as a way of explaining his activities. As if it explains everything - though I suppose it does, but not in the way he thinks.


He is mayor of the city where Cory grew up.


Steve Martin once had an all-purpose apology in his stand up routine. It’s on the 1979 album ‘Comedy is not pretty’. He suggests that whenever you’re in trouble all you need are two simple words from the english language:
‘I forgot.’

Your honour, I forgot that armed robbery was illegal.

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Half of the photos I see of Rob Ford remind me of Tor Johnson.

He could have a great career in B movies if he ever leaves politics.


Why should he? He’s only using all these substances to boost his performance as a mayor to superhuman level, like all these guys at the olympic games!

No, seriously: have you ever tried argueing with an alcoholic or drug addict? He’s lost touch with reality. Maybe in time he’ll realize what he’s been doing and how much damage this did to him and the world around him and seek help. Maybe. Some people seek help at the point when they run out of excuses (excuses to themselves, not others).

It’s rare enough that a sane and stable person realizes it’s time to step down. That’s why term in office is limited, among other reasons.
Is there some sort of impeachment contingency here? In some countries it’s possible to vote a mayor out of office, preempting his term.
After all it’s the citizens job to elect a suitable candidate, there should be a process to correct mistakes.

@Cory: keep on posting. This is interesting (in a morbid watching a train wreck happening sort of way, but interesting), you just can’t make up stuff like that.
Please try to disentangle the anger and the hate. Anger gives you power to act, hate just kills your soul.


I’d be in favour of pensioning him off - let’s be generous and assume he did something useful during his career - there’s no point letting him melt down in public. Can a deputy mayor step in? Can he be deemed unfit for office? If he stepped under a bus or had a heart attack, what is the normal process for when a term of office ends prematurely? Just action that process…

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