Already regretting assigning the Chelsea Clinton story to Frank Herbert


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/04/23/already-regretting-assigning-t-2.html


#2

This and the Borges one are both brilliant <3


#3

But wait…Chelsea is already married.


#5

The Bene Gesserit care little for the facile institutions of the Faufreluches.


#6

Well, woe betide them when a challenger is brought to the fore, one who was veiled from their eyes.

Dun dun duuuuun!


#7

Brilliant!
I’m a bit worried about what the tinfoil brigade will make out of this, though.


#8

“Arruckus-men call it Doon, the Dessert Planet. It is a sugar-covered wasteland entirely devoid of entrees, patrolled by a terrifying species of giant pretzel.”

No wonder House Bush had so much trouble!


#9

The younger Barbara Bush is single.


#10

We all know this is just expressing the author’s secret wish to test Trump with the gom jabbar.


#11

With gay marriage being legal in so many states, there’s still time.


#12

What part in Herbert’s Dune would a Trump take? He’s way too foolish to be a Harkonnen.


#13

I intended that to mean pairing up BB the Younger with the Trump boy, since the issue was that Chelsea was already married.


#14

A sandworm?


#15

I don’t think Trump would last very long in the Dune universe, no matter where he fell in the social hierarchy.
The Fremen would take one look at him and say, “Get his body’s water.”


#16

The water sellers on Arrakis who dehydrate rich people’s laundry and trash. Soo soo sook!


#17

Tiny hands! Too tiny for the cabinet. Definitely not yuuge enough.


#18

Mustn’t forget this one either:


#19

Trump’s water? I just threw up in my stillsuit a little.


#20

Harkonnens weren’t really all that clever. Brutal, sadistic, and decadent – yes. But narcissism limited their plottings to family infighting for prestige and oppressing captive populations for profit; the Baron himself took the view that wealth was the key…that and staying alive long enough to wield it. The few flashes of brilliance displayed were the work of an outsider strategist, Pieter DeVries.

If the Emperor hadn’t conned the Baron and Pieter into providing actors for his false flag operation against Paul, House Harkonnen’s future would have been little more than petty revenge games and gold-plated hedonism.

And so –

  • Baron Vlad Harkonnen: Donald J. Trump;
  • Count Glossu “Beast” Harkonnen: Eric Trump;
  • na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen: Jared Kushner;
  • Mentat Pieter DeVries: Steve Bannon;
  • Emperor Shaddam IV: Vladimir Putin
  • (With special appearance as Count Hasimir Fenring: Sassy Trump ; -)

#21

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