Trump presidency fanfic


#1

[Read the post]


#2

I can’t read or listen to it, not because of tech concerns, but because of sanity concerns.


#3

“It’s amazing isn’t?”
Exactly.


#4

It’s any excuse to post that GIF.

And I’m totally ok with that.


#5

The Hair was exultant. It was now the most powerful being on planet Earth. Since attaching to it’s host in the late 1970’s, there had been much plotting and scheming, endless maneuvering all to reach this point. A Real Estate Empire was built and almost lost. A television celebrity was won, and almost lost. And now the Big Prize - a Presidency almost lost but ultimately won. The Hair wriggled its tendrils deeper into the host’s brain, and suppressed the fear. How many times had it almost been found out? The constant pressure of living on the edge for so many years had taken its toll. Every minute of every day it had to guess how a human would react to any given situation. An imperfect knowledge of earthlings made for a constant stream of missteps, and each course correction caused The Hair’s trajectory toward the Presidency to veer wildly. It was vastly more intelligent (and vastly more handsome) than the indigenous life here, but human actions and reactions often surprised it. Nonetheless it had prevailed. President Hair ordered a caviar and peanut butter sandwich to feed its host, and considered how to consolidate its power. What was its next move? Fire a Supreme Court Judge? Democratic Whip piñatas for schoolchildren? Gilded Ionic columns on all public buildings? A giant privacy net to keep Mexican whales from sullying the coasts each summer? This world was ripe with possibilities.


#6

Reading isn’t all that difficult. They still teach it to children in some states.


#7

It’s funny, I came here specifically to ask BB to stop showing me that GIF. It’s, like, genuinely upsetting to me. Can we not just pick a more agreeable visual euphemism to illustrate posts on this subject? Goatse, for example?


#8

Grief throughout the nation today as President Trump, whose presidency lasted an unprecedented four terms and heralded a new “golden age” in America, passed away at the age of 85.

Trump’s presidency, whose first campaign was proof of HL Mencken’s quote “you can’t go wrong underestimating the intelligence of the American public”, was marked by his sudden and complete reversal within 24 hours of his swearing in ceremony.

“Of course I was kidding,” said the new President in early 2017, “but it got me here, right?”

President Trump then, as his first act in office, offered amnesty to all undocumented workers who had been in the country for five years or more, stating, “These people are the backbone of the American economy, and it’s time we treated them as such.”

Hallmarks of Trump’s presidency include the passing of equal rights laws, changing forever the lives of women in the workplace; a National Conference on Race Relations, bringing together leaders to provide true solutions to what was a growing issue in the country; and a tax increase on the wealthiest 5%, perhaps the most stunning reversal of all.

Said the President at that time, “We’re so rich. Really, why don’t we give some of it back to strengthen the country?”


#9

Where do you buy what you smoke?..Is there any left or did you smoke it all?


#10

You do know that the whole thing is tongue firmly in cheek, right? Please tell me you know that.


#11

You do know that the whole thing is tongue firmly in cheek, right? Please tell me you know that.
.
using your line…you do kno…


#12

Ha! Alright then. Point taken.


#13

A nation administered by means of a stream of snarky racist tweets.
I’m rather looking forward to it.


#14

I’m living it:cry:


#15

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