Amazon offers pork spray to protect from "Muslim rape gangs"

You think? I think it’s more a case of not saying the quiet part out loud.


How much you wanna bet that the same people who think “Muslim rapes” are happening on every street corner in Europe everyday also think COVID is completely overblown, or even a hoax?


That is practically a circle, I’m sure.


Of course the top management/the company is ok with it. Being a marketplace is part of their core business strategy, and this kind of stuff is just ‘collateral’. Nary a finger will be raised to correct it due to detrimental effects imposed on the business model.

We watched the doc Social Dilemma over the weekend and this Amzn marketplace business model is really the same thing that the doc was talking about. Amzn’s business is driving transactions, and a few questionable things will get transacted, certainly. FB’s business is selling ads, so keeping users’ face planted to their app is key to selling more ads, wherever that might lead.

Same solution that was suggested in the doc needs to be applied to online marketplaces: enforceable regulation with real penalties, up to and including personal liability of management.


Wouldn’t some personal hygiene spray made from pork be just as or more effective? You have to whip pepper spray out in time to be effective. Spraying your nethers with pork juice before you go out saves time and is great for those times you don’t want to carry a purse.

As a bonus: “You smell great tonight!” “Thanks. It’s Hormel.”

Edit: This isn’t a serious proposal. It’s parody. The “It’s Hormel” should have made that obvious. The thought of some idiot spritzing herself to smell of ham to ward of Muslims, then bragging about the brand as if in were Channel No 5 should make you laugh.

Edit 2: One last thought: Did people think I meant some rapist asking what she was wearing? God no! That wasn’t my intent, and if it came across that way, I am VERY sorry and want to apologize. That would be very inappropriate. I was envisioning some woman meeting her date at a restaurant or something. And him making small talk. Like in all those perfume ads or something. So in that regard, if I have to explain the joke, then yeah, it’s not funny.


And it doubles as a marinade!

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As Islamophobic as this is, it also completely misunderstands the basic premise it claims to promote.

Perhaps someone with a better understanding of Islam can chime in, but as far as I am aware, there is no prohibition in Islam about touching or handling swine. The only prohibition is to not eat the “the flesh of swine”. Spraying the skin or whatever isn’t ingesting flesh.

But most importantly, if someone can justify rape rape, I don’t think a pork spray is going to create some immediate existential crisis that changes their mind.


Yes. It’s not particularly surprising that they don’t understand how that works.


That’s really obvious, right? So obvious that you have to assume that isn’t what this is supposed to do. It’s not supposed to keep away people with different religious beliefs. It’s supposed to repel Muslims the same way garlic repels vampires and salt stops witches. The bigots behind these kinds of products heard that Muslims can’t have pork, and they concluded that they must be physically vulnerable to it, because they don’t understand that they are also people, full stop.


So in addition to being bigots, they are also dumb bigots.


Pork-based kryptonite… /s

Edit: to add /s - just in case.


Add non halal cheese and crackers and it’s the perfect defense against Muslim vampires… or A really good cheese board. Your choice.


does this mean we could produce a sweat of the poor spray to threaten and repel billionaires and trumpites?


It is something hateful, ignorant people would pick up as a white elephant gift for a party filled with other hateful, ignorant people.

ETA: And yes, you will find novelty items this shitty in places like Sportsman’s Guide and the like (or at least when I was young, and my dad had all those catalog strewn about the house). So I’m not even kidding.


Fucking ridiculous. Hypothetically, if there were “Muslim rape gangs”, they already aren’t observant Muslims and thus the threat of pork would be meaningless.

But the whole premise isn’t based on fact. There are in fact rapists who are Muslim, but they aren’t any more likely to rape someone. Statistically if you’re a white European, it is a white dude who will rape you.

This is just Islamophobia.


I’d seriously be in the market for some kind of “Jesus Spray” that would keep evangelicals away. I wonder how one could aerosol the scent of compassion, justice, and truth.


Patchouli? (Kidding, but seriously…)




This would be so much more useful.


It reminded me of this - the cartridges had to be bitten open in order to use them.

One of the alleged causes of the Indian Rebellion of 1857 were rumours that the grease on these cartridges designed to keep them dry was, variously, pork or beef fat (pork being abhorrent to the Muslims, cows being sacred to the Hindus), thus their refusal to bite them.[1]